Midday Musings

Not too long ago, Kaylee introduced us to the idea of midday musings, a quick pick me up for your day filled with interesting things floating around the web that have caught our eyes. Behold, another installation of midday musings, in a nutshell…

Samsung’s 5 Cent Hoax 

CEO’s of Samsung & Apple. Laughing on the outside, plotting on the inside.

Yesterday, a hilarious story hit the internet involving Apple and Samsung, two high-tech giants who are currently dominating the technological world. The story is as followed: Apple won its current copywright case against Samsung and was awarded 1.05 BILLION dollars. The story alleged that Samsung delivered its debt by sending truckloads upon truckloads of nickels to Apple’s headquarters, as the payment was able to be made any way in which Samsung sees fit. As much as it pains me to say this, the story isn’t true. I loved this petty-payment hoax, because let’s face it – Apple can stand to be taken down a notch or two. And millions of nickels would certainly do it.

Invasion of Chalkboard Paint

A long time ago, I had a friend paint an entire wall in her bedroom with chalkboard paint, that we were obsessed with drawing on. At the time, it was the coolest. thing. ever. Fast forward 7 years and chalkboard paint has taken over the world. DIY crafts involving this unique paint are everywhere and I have to say that I’m enjoying the trend. I don’t know if I’d take it as far as the kitchen pictured below did, but small touches are really cute. What is your favourite use of this unique paint?

Princess on a Budget

A while back, Christian Louboutin revealed his re-imagining of the Cinderella Slipper; a haute-couture shoe lover and Disney fan’s dream. While the design was released, no price tag was, leading news outlets around the world to speculate at the high cost of the designer’s fantasy shoe.

In keeping with the Cinderella/Disney princess trend, this week, Designer Shoe Warehouse (DSW) launched their own line of Cinderella-inspired shoes. With their designs ranging in price from approximately $60-$90 USD, they are making it a bit more affordable to walk in a princess’ shoes. Cinderella came from humble means before meeting Prince Charming, after all.

Royal Salute, Indeed

Speaking of Royalty, real-life Prince Harry got himself into some hot water in the media after playing strip pool with some friends while spending a relaxing party weekend in Vegas. Harry was photographed in the buff, cupping his royal jewels in the company of an unknown (also naked) female companion. Media speculated that this incident could have a negative impact on his service in the Air Force as an Apache Helicopter Pilot. Enter thousands of Harry supporters (including military members) who embraced Harry’s nakedness and joined the Facebook group, “Support Prince Harry with a Naked Salute.” Many have uploaded photos of themselves, sans clothing, saluting the Prince in a sign of solidarity. Awesome.

**images courtesy of Google & Pinterest.

OH (hot damn) CANADA

It’s over.

The single most watched athletic event in North American history: The Olympics – London 2012 edition.

One of the things I love the most about in a nutshell is how people have come to expect us to be on top of the daily goings-on of the world at large. That’s why, when out for drinks last week, I was affectionately hounded: “Why hasn’t NUTSHELL done anything on the Olympics yet!?”

True say, my friends, true say.

I think I can speak on behalf of all of the nuts in saying we wore our Canadian pride well – watching, cheering and catching up on the each event of the day. Jess’ friend, Will, from Kingston, even took home a silver medal, bringing the spectacle across the pond a little closer to home. We joined the 32 million Canadian hearts bleeding patriotic pride across the nation for that special time, once every four years, where we get to watch athleticism at it’s prime. Hard work, dedication, discipline, talent all before our eyes. No, in a nutshell did not miss out on this worldly event.

And what an event it was. It seemed as though for those days between July 27 and August 12 it was the only subject worth talking about … “Did you see the Canadian girls’ soccer game? What a heartbreaker.” … “Did you see Bolt run?” … “Did you see we got another medal?” ………

“Did. you. SEE. the BODY on that ROWER!??”

Yes Canada, we took home 18 medals. We won gold. We showed the world what we are made of…

…. And we also, looked good doing it.

While discussions about unfair judging, bicycle crashes and cocky athletes ruled conversation across the planet, so did one other thing – brawn. can. be. beautiful.

So, with a little help from one of those that scolded in a nutshell for it’s lacklustre coverage of this epic event, my good pal Allan Gordon (@agordo12) and I bring to you the TOP 20 HOTTEST CANADIAN ATHLETES – LONDON 2012.

Feast your eyes, Canada, and take it away, Allan.

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THE BABES: 

Although a team of five girls runs in a nutshell, they’re not (always) the kind to discriminate. We know that Team Canada’s Olympians didn’t only run deep in male talent, as our women put up nine medals – a contribution equal to the men, including our only gold of the London 2012 games, by Rosie MacLennan, in trampoline.

But let’s get serious here gentleman, when the ladies aren’t winning medals (and realistically while they are winning too), we’re watching closely for the talent that carries off the field of play.

Without further ado, let’s take a look (or two, or three, or…) at our top 10 Canadian Olympic babes of the 2012 games:

10. Melissa Bishop (Track) @BishopMelissa

Starting off the countdown, it was a no-brainer to include this hometown girl. Bishop has ties to the Nation’s capital that go way back. Before her success in CIS track with the Windsor Lancers, she attended the University of Ottawa where she competed on the GeeGees track team. She currently represents the Ottawa Lions Athletics Club in competition. A tough break in her heat caused her to miss the semis in the 800m, but we hope to see her back in 2016.

9. Kelsey Titmarsh (Rhythmic Gymnastics) @kelseytitmarsh

Little Kelsey almost didn’t make this list – not because there was a ‘you must be this tall’ restriction holding back this gymnast, but because criminal law almost caused her to be left off the list. Kelsey is only 18, but it’s not illegal to look right? Let’s hope she returns in 2016, and that the rhythmic gymnastics team doesn’t place last again… okay fine maybe we can deal with another last place, what is rhythmic gymnastics anyway? If Will Ferrell can do it, anyone can: 

8. Desiree Scott (Soccer) @MsDScott11

Desiree logged huge minutes in Canada’s run for the soccer bronze. It was pretty tough to miss that face on the field, especially while she was rocking that bright pink headband all throughout the tournament. Oh by the way, her nickname is the destroyer… we’ll leave that one to your imagination.

7. Jenna Martin (Track) @Mz_Can_eh_D_n 

East-coaster Jenna Martin was the 2011 Canadian champion in the 400m. She earned her way to the semi-finals in London, but wasn’t able qualify for the finals. We forgive you Jenna.

6. Sarah Wells (Track) @SarahWells400mh

Sarah Wells belongs in the same category as Jenna Martin: Good-looking, ridiculously fit track athlete who qualified for the semis, but didn’t come close to making to finals. What else is there to say, just take a look and move on to the top five.

5. Tracy Little (Synchro Swimming) @Tracy_Little

On behalf of men everywhere, it’s nice to see a synchronized swimmer who still looks hot without piles of waterproof makeup on. Who even knew about Tracy Little until now? We need more coverage of athletes like her, for obvious reasons.

4. Lauren Sesselmann (Soccer) @lsesselmann

Lauren Sesselmann is probably the greatest import to Canada from the USA next to California wines. Sesselmann was born and raised in Wisconsin, and only received her Canadian citizenship in 2010, but we welcome her with open arms – I think any guy would in a heartbeat. Just take a look at her twitter bio (@lsesselmann) for a description of the perfect woman: “Athlete, Model, Actress.” Jackpot.

3. Jonelle Filigno (Soccer) @JFiligno

Filigno (no, not Foligno) has quite the resume. She has been named to the following: Top 10 Olympic Women to Watch, 30 Hottest College Athletes, 50 Hottest Female Soccer Players All Time, and Top 100 Sports Hotties, by various different sources. She also won bronze at the Olympics, but that’s just a minor detail.

2. Emily Batty (Mountain Biking) @emilybatty

Emily Batty is an absolute gem. The girl looks just as good while she’s competing as she does off the course. Too bad for her, she crashed in practice the week of the Olympics, and raced to a disappointing 24th place finish. Why is that awesome? She did it with a broken collarbone and a couple broken ribs. If you’re thinking, “this girl is tougher than me,” you are correct… and way better looking too.

1. Kaylyn Kyle (Soccer) @KaylynKyle

They say a picture is worth a thousand words… there’s 3000 good ones for the boys. If you haven’t heard of or seen this beauty yet, it’ll be a matter of seconds before you google her name, get mad at her for spelling it so stupidly (so many y’s!), and then instantly forgive her when google gives you the ‘did you mean’ option – success. To give you an idea of how much this country loves Kaylyn Kyle, she is one of very few, if not the only Canadian Olympian to be twitter verified. I think she just gained another follower…

Now that’s true patriot love

Of all the heartwarming stories Canadians had the privilege to witness during the London 2012 Olympics, the gutsy effort shown by the FIFA #7 rank Canadian women’s soccer team to earn a bronze might have been the most exciting.

This victory literally put the faces of our ladies on the map, across the country and all over the world.

The greatest part of this team might be that they could’ve lost all of their games, and still captivated the attention of over 16.5 million Canadian men.

It’s pretty evident from this Top 10 that the women’s soccer team dominated on and off the field. Although the team won bronze, the lads know they’re really a gold mine.

Congratulations on winning bronze ladies, but even bigger congratulations on winning the hearts of men all over the world.

– By: Allan Gordon

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THE BOYS:

#10. Nathan Gafuik (Gymnastics) @gafuik_nathan

Ok, ok. So we may not be starting off our top 10 on the strongest foot, with gymnast Nathan Gafuik, but the fact that after his Olympic dream concluded early with him falling during his high bar routine, his only event at the Games, Gafuik said he was “headed to McDonald’s” means he’s got a sense of humour. Or at least, a hearty appetite. The 27-year-old from Calgary was Canada’s lone male artistic gymnast. Weird right? I thought that was a popular sport for that demographic…

#9. Alexandre Despatie (Diving) @ADespatie

Not a huge fan of the speedo, but he’s got a body.
The 27-year-old, fell flat (literally) at this year’s Olympics, but for a guy who was making his fourth spin around the Olympic stadium and spent almost his entire young life as Canada’s leading international diver, I guess he does okay. Finishing in 11th place (second from last. knife. twist.), in the 3-metre springboard he was eighth going into the last of six dives.  His legs slapped the water hard as he entered ….
…Just going to trail off there.

#8. Sergio Pessoa Jr (Judo)
A common theme in this series of Canadian hotties, Sergio Pessoa Jr, one of Canada’s most promising judokas, ended his Olympic dream after only one match. A Montreal resident, Pessoa, had a very tight contest with Kazahstan’s Yerkebulan Kossayev that went into golden score and was then determined by the judges’ decision. They ultimately raised the blue flag in favour of Kossayev, but we raise our eyebrows to what’s above those blue shorts. No Canadian judo player has won an Olympic medal, so hey! You were just meant to stand there and look pretty anyway. The 24-year-old was following in his father’s footsteps, who competed in Seoul, which means ladies, he’s got good genes.

#7. Tory Nyhaug (BMX) @Tnyhaug49

Tory Nyhaug, badass BMX biker from Coquitlam, BC, won the fifth and final run of his Heat 2 grouping, and yet — disappointingly — the 20-year-old missed out on reaching the semi-finals by one measly point. Luckily, he’s likely got a long career ahead of him. Lucky for him? Or lucky for us? Men only get better with age. Right?

#6. Damian Warner (Decathlon)Decathalon should be synonym for: “I’m a freaking boss.” Not only did Damian Warner get put through not one, not two, but ten Olympic paces, the 22-year-old managed to get a respectable fifth place for his first Olympic Games. Oh and he only achieved six personal bests during the last two days… nbd. The only thing going against this stud is that he doesn’t have Twitter, which means limited stalking privileges. Drat.

#5. Jason McCoombs (Canoeing) @JasonMcCoombs


This Dartmouth, Nova Scotia smokeshow would have scored higher on the list if he wasnt NINETEEN. Little Jason wasn’t even supposed to go to the Games, being invited to Olmypic training camp simply for a learning experience. I can think of a few women across the country who’d like to teach him another lesson… The first of many rowers that made our palms sweat, I’m sure we’ll be seeing this up-and-coming super star on the water again soon. Thankfully, he’s not getting any younger.

#4. Riley McCormick (Diving) @RMcCormick2012With an eleventh place finish, Victoria’s Riley McCormick didn’t crack the Olympic top ten, but he did crack OUR top ten. As the second diver on our list, it’s no secret that men of the pool have sculpted stomachs… and thighs … and shoulders … and backs. Shall I go on? He kinda looks like he needs help drying off… I think a million hands just flew into the air to volunteer for that job.

#3. Conlin McCabe (Rowing) @conlinmccabe

Oh hi, Conlin. My name is Catherine and I also live in the Ottawa area.

We already had our eye on this rowing hottie, before realizing he was from Brockville, which is really just a hop, skip and a jump from the Nation’s Capital. As one of Jess’ friend’s teammates (three degrees of separation) that led the men’s eight rowers to an Olympic silver medal, this brawny Canuck turned the most heads out of a group of men who were all tall glasses of water in their own right. Only thing I wish? That we were all in London for THAT silver medal after party.

#2. Martin Reader (Beach Volleyball) @martinjreader

No. Words. Necessary.
Right? It’s a no brainer that this beach volleyball babe would make our list. Why is he not #1 you ask?
Because he knows it.
That and he lost every possible game he played. But hey, it’s something just to go to the Games right?

Every girl likes a winner, gentlemen. But second place ain’t nothin’ to sneeze at.

#1. Jared Connaughton (sprinter) @jncoolc

He may have lost the bronze for Canada, but he ranks #1 on our list and in our hearts. There wasn’t a single Canadian who didn’t feel P.E.I. sprinter Jared Connaughton’s pain   after Team Canada was disqualified in the men’s 4×100 metre relay final. Connaughton stepped on the line during his leg of the relay, pushing the men out of medal contention. But, the jacked and tatted 27-year-old gets our #1 ranking, not only for his bodacious bod, but for owning his misstep like a champ.  After stepping off the plane to a warm welcoming from a hometown crowd yesterday these words show he not only knows how to man up, but he looks good doing it: “Be proud of your hard work and be proud of the good times and the bad. Because sometimes the bad times wake you up to the good times you weren’t paying attention to. And that was a pretty bad moment but this makes it not so bad.”


So there you have it Canada. Take a second to be proud of our 18 medals, take pride in our athletic achievements, and for the love of God, take a cold shower, because the great North (strong and free) just got a little greater.

One last thing, thank you to Daniel Charboneau (@DanCharbs) for helping to craft this incredible post-worthy idea.

YOLO at OVO 2012: Drake Comes Home

Riding up the CN tower, ferrying to Toronto island, strolling through the Distillery District, lounging in the Beaches, dinner and drinks on King West. These are all highly necessary tourist activities that I would consider “must-dos” on any Torontonian’s lists.

Seeing Drake with 16,000 of your closest Toronto friends and fellow rap lovers in the very city that raised our own hip-hop megastar? Well, that tops just about any of them.

OVO Fest, standing for “October’s Very Own” (a shout-out to the rapper’s birthday month), is now always something of a spectacle in the city, long before the date even nears. As the one concert that brings Drizzy back to his stomping grounds to wow his Canadian peers each year, OVO manages to cast a buzzing hype over the 416; an excitement that comes not only from Toronto’s obsession with the hometown legend, but also the precedent-setting surprise guest line-up of the world’s most spectacular urban acts who are apparently just chomping at the bit to accompany the young gun back to the Big Smoke. Every year it’s different – Jay-Z, Eminem and Stevie Wonder are a few of the golden guests who’ve touched down at Pearson with him – and every year it gets a little more shocking.

As the third installment of OVO approached – following an astonishing year for the nine-time Grammy nominated rapper after the release of his sophomore album Take Care – I was ready to slap the next person who asked me if I was attending. No, I was not. I had the pleasure of seeing Florence and the Machine, The Walkmen, M83, Austra and Justice this week – all right here in Toronto – and just didn’t feel it was likely that I would be tacking on another concert to my hyper-musical week. With rumours swirling about which big names would be joining Drizzy at Molson Ampitheatre, as well as knowledge that A$AP Rocky and The Weeknd were concrete members of the Sunday night line-up, I was secretly crying inside for days. Sure, I had an incredible concert week – but I am a gigantic rap fan, and seeing the hip-hop face of Toronto (and Canada) bring the show home once a year is the stuff of history books.

On Sunday afternoon, as my fear-of-missing-out symptoms were at a sickening level and I was pathetically reading the OVO rumour mill via Twitter – I happened to eyeball a reasonably priced lawn ticket (where my friend was going to be) before immediately contacting the person for the stub. In the wise words of the Young Money crew as well as those spattered in glitter on the many homemade t-shirts I cringed at on the concert grounds…YOLO, right? YOLO.

Drake at OVO 2012 – image c/o Sarjoun Faour

After securing a prime spot on the lawn, watching the masses flood in and grooving to The Weeknd’s impressive slow jams, a nervous hush fell over the crowd as we waited for the underground king to step out in front of the shadowing skyline. Anyone who didn’t have a fresh beer or empty bladder immediately regretted their life choices, because we all knew the drill – there wouldn’t be a dull moment in the next two hours, nor one that you would  be comfortable missing. And with that, aboard an elevated platform beneath the flashing lights – the head-to-toe white clad knight appeared.

Looking beefy and proud, the rap ambassador hammered his fist towards the ground to the huge opening beat of “Lord Knows,” amidst a deafening roar from his hometown fans. With every rhyme spit, as well as any interjecting commentary, he ignited a match beneath the thousands of people, sending them leaping into the air and screaming for their lives. “Every year, I feel like this is my mother-f**king birthday,” he hollered with conviction. That one really did the trick.

With a wide smile, Drizzy shouted out to his birthplace (St.Michael’s Hospital) and the musical success of so many of “Toronto’s finest,” bringing camera-shy The Weeknd back on stage for “Crew Love” before pulling up his sleeveless top to reveal a fine-looking ribcage and the new home to huge “416” ink. Needless to say, you could cut the Toronto pride with a knife – especially when he made Canuck-boosting statements like, “If you go to Dubai and you hear my sh**, that’s Toronto. If you go to Africa and you hear my sh**, that’s Toronto.” International crew love.

As if the women in the audience needed more cause to faint, at one point the rapper paused to address the haters before playing a few lady-praising tracks. “People say I make too much music for women. You’re f**king right I make too much music for women. I don’t make music for b**ches, I don’t make music for little girls – I make music for women,” he shouted over top a shrill eruption. From there, he went on to play every single one of his pumped-up tracks – ranging from “The Motto” and “Forever” to a gorgeous pyro-caked “Take Care” and “HYFR” (dedicated to his label head Lil’ Wayne, who couldn’t make it).

Of course, there came a point when the surprise guest anticipation was unbearable. How on earth was he going to top himself? Naturally, you bring out Rick Ross and then the Doggfather. As the extra lanky Snoop Dogg Lion sauntered out (he played for a Toronto crowd of 700 a few short days before), drugs and drink in hand and jams like “Beautiful” and “Drop it Like It’s Hot” in tow, the crowd hopped left and right – touching a mediocre volume that would be topped within minutes when a blonde-wigged, busty Nicki Minaj strolled onto stage to see her “hubby, Drizzy.” With the duet “Make Me Proud” as well as her own “Beez in the Trap” effortlessly delivered, Minaj wrapped herself around Drake at center stage while he admitted she was “the most beautiful thing in the world” and took the stage back for himself.  At the end of the night, although Snoopy Dogg-Lion-whatever and Nicki are impressive MCs, it was obvious that this year Drake wouldn’t be exhibiting any hip-hop royalty bigger than the 25 year-old superstar himself – and refreshingly, he certainly doesn’t need to anymore. He’s more than enough.

Dedicating the show to the victims of Scarborough’s recent shooting and dropping news that next year’s OVO will take place at the 50,000 capacity Roger’s Centre – Drake showed as much humanly possible love to his city, visibly demonstrating that the colossal rap event is as momentous to him as it is to all of us. “Toronto, we need to take a moment as a city,” he uttered with a bowed head. And what a moment that was.

 Warning: Explicit Language

*inanutshell doesn’t own any rights to the above video

Studying GOSSIP with Lainey Lui

Gossip often gets a bad rap.

……funny how that works, right?

For example, have you ever felt like the guy standing behind you in the grocery store buying canned ham is ACTUALLY judging YOU for lingering at the tabloid section? Has someone blatantly rolled their eyes at you when you quietly mention that you are and always will be on team Jen? Or how about getting scolded by your colleagues for only following every Kardashian and every man they’ve ever dated on Twitter (a total of about 250 people).

I can’t say that I’ve experienced this much in my own life, seeing as how my Bachelor Recaps seem to get more attention than anything else I’ve written … ever. But, I do know it happens.

Some people just can’t handle that most people like judging other people. Get what I’m saying, people?

But yesterday at the beautiful Terence Robert art gallery in downtown Ottawa, a fierce presence in the celebrity world was on hand to set the record straight on why gossiping can actually be a healthy cerebral exercise.

Lainey Lui.
eTalk host, celebrity blogger, hilarious human.

That someone was none other than Lainey Lui, eTalk host and creative mind behind laineygossip.com.

Not only did I have the chance to sit in on the intimate group discussion she hosted “Rumor est immortalis”, (one that Lainey announced would not be taking place in Toronto, amid big cheers from the collection of Ottawa fans, bloggers and “smuthounds”) but I had the privilege of sitting down with the celebrity maven for a one on one interview.

Her message was a clear one: “I’m tired of us feeling ashamed to be gossiping.”

For Lainey, her believers and really anyone who’s logged on to a celeb site, it can be about more than just getting your fix of the day’s hot goss.

Art, apps and gossip … what more could you want out of an evening?

“Nobody reads a story, any story, without placing their own history and experience into that story and interpreting it accordingly. So, when we talk about celebrity relationships it’s almost a way to talk about our own relationships. A way to establish boundaries with our own friends, with our own lovers. Celebrity gossip is a very safe way to dictate a code of conduct. When you talk about somebody dating and cheating, in essence your communicating your expectations for a relationship. How you would feel if you were in that relationship. And maybe subconsciously you’re passing that message on to that friend, or that girlfriend, or boyfriend about how you’d like to be treated.”

In many ways, how we react to the antics, triumphs and failures of celebrities can be seen as a study in social behaviour.

Does the fact that the headline of the New York Post the day after the Kristen Stewart cheating scandal leaked was “A TRAMPIRE is born” mean that women are still judged much more harshly for their sexual behaviour, in and outside of relationships?

Does her fan base erupting over the fact that Stewart – who’s Twilight character Bella is a young, impressional girl with a purity standard – had an affair mean that society still doesn’t like to see a young woman explore her sexuality? … Funny how only TODAY did provisions in the Affordable Care Act make birth control free for insured women in the United States. Almost A CENTURY after it first started being circulated in 1914.

OK, I know I love the Bachelor … but Teen Mom, REALLY?

Does the recent popularity of 50 Shades of Grey and … TEEN MOM … mean that women are regressing? That females are becoming complacent with seeing women take on a more passive role in society?

And what does celeb gossip say about the way we now communicate in relationships? Sure, the social media world went into a frenzy when Demi Moore (still using the handle @MrsKutcher) tweeted for the first time since filing for divorce, but wouldn’t your friends act the same way if your ex sent you a sassy tweet? Mine would (/ have).

Does the fact that any tom, dick and harry (or should I say, sam, deena and snooki) can become a celebrity overnight reflect the decline of the world economy? That the gap between celebrity and non-celebrity is closing? That young university and college graduates are getting stuck in the rat race more than ever before and will turn to outrageous behaviour to make their mark on the world?

Our role models.

Maybe you don’t agree with the above statements, but you should be able to agree there’s a valid argument there, at least.

Celebrity can be the study of human behaviour, no doubt about it. 

As Lainey aptly pointed out, gossip is not new and it’s not going anywhere:


“We’ve been gossiping from the dawn of time. What that means is that gossip, as an activity, has been with us forever. We are born to gossip. We are born to talk about people. We’re born to discuss these types of matters. It’s just the subject matter that has varied. 600 years ago we gossiped about royalty and the court of Louis IXV. Two generations ago we gossiped about John Kennedy. Today, we just happen to be gossiping about Angelina Jolie. The act of gossiping has not changed.”

Lastly, I could not really turn down the opportunity to ask a smart, successful, CANADIAN, woman – who started out as an independent blogger and broke into the world of mainstream media – what her advice would be to a group of aspiring young professionals.

“Be okay with saying ‘I don’t know’. I think there is a compulsion, especially with young women, to come out of university and become the power woman. You expect to strut down the corridor and say ‘I can do whatever you think I can do.’ There are benefits to that and there are certainly advantages to it, but there are more advantages coming into a work place and saying, ‘Teach me. I don’t know, but I really, really want to learn.’ I really think that is something that will get you farther than powering into an environment not willing to do and start at the beginning. I think that the danger sometimes in today’s society is that people want things too quickly, too much. For some reason we’ve been told that life is there for the taking and opportunity and success can come so quickly, but it’s more rewarding when it comes slowly and at your own sweat and blood and effort. “

Perhaps the biggest thing I took away from a lecture that really did make me think and reflect on the state of society, was that I have the upmost respect for someone who writes intellectually, dares to be different and worked her way to the top… in a nutshell.
Now, what are you waiting for? Go catch up on what Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise are up to today.

The Bachelorette Recap – FINALE – One heartbreak, one proposal, ONE F.

Well Bach family, this is it.

My last in a nutshell Bachelor/ette/Pad recap…. for- another couple months anyway. After Monday’s insane start to BP3, I’ve decided all the words in the world wouldn’t be able to summarize that kind of next level insanity. So I’ll catch ya when inevitably Sean becomes the Bachelor … or maybe, just maybe, I’ll be on the show by then. Ha ha haaaaa…. (my family would murder me).

Actually, let’s lay it all out on the table here … I’ve spent 14 hours this week on Bach-related watching, re-watching and writing. I need some normalcy in my brain. Badly.

But, we have one last order of business before I can go back to writing things that don’t just happen in the reality world. And that is – the finale.

Yes, again, I had to watch it twice since the first time just seemed to go by in one shocking blur. And, I only got around to seeing ATFR Tuesday (what kind of Bachelor super fan am I ANYWAY!?) … but before commenting on the results, let’s start at the beginning…

Sunday’s episode started with Jef meeting Emily’s parents.

A white tee. Really? REALLY.

JEF. Have you ever met anyone’s parents before in your life? Your white tee and jeans just didn’t cut it. I’m not saying showing up in a tuxedo – and I get that you’re hipster ways make you want to give the “I’m real, yo” impression – but, COME on. Even a polo shirt would have been better, figure it out One-F.

Put Jef aside though and I am sure smitten with someone – Emily’s family.

“You want your children’s happiness above your own.” – Can’t count the number of times my own momma has said that to me. Instant love.

Nothing like a pep talk from MOM. <3

Her brother’s southern drawl was delicious, too bad his (silent) finance was along for the ride. And I also loved how he was Stone Cold Steve Austin when drilling the guys. Nothing like an overprotective big brother. Amen to that.

Then it was Arie’s turn to meet the folks. He dressed more appropriately, brought a more sentimental gift and managed to make everyone as confused as possible.

Well. Looks like Emily’s fam aren’t making this decision any easier.#everyoneloveseveryone #whotochoose?

I think one thing is clear, unlike many, many (MANY!) seasons of the Bachelor/ette, both final contestants are decent humans. Don’t ya hate it when that happens? I do. It was so much more fun to openly hate Courtney Robertson. Ughh….

I commend Jef for convincing Emily to introduce him to Ricki. I mean in real life you’d probably meet the daughter of the girl you’re asking to MARRY you more than once … but good on ya Jef-with-one-F for at least making this a teeny tiny bit more believable.

Oh Jef, Jef, Jef… He IS adorable, he SHOULD be a speech writer and I HAVE come to love that one f … but I still think they’re relationship is so high school. Watching them interact on the couch after the Ricki date … I just had to shake my head. Watching them kiss reminded me of spin the bottle smooches.

Perfect couple.

So when Chris Harrison knocked on Emily’s door to discuss the inevitable, was I was the only one who thought for a moment “OMG, maybe the rumours are true? MAYBE she ends up with Chris Harrison!” Just me? K.

If people ever get sick of watching the Bachelor/ette (never) and Chris Harrison continues not to age AND is in need of another profession, I think someone should just hand him a job as a marriage counsellor. Credentials aside, he’s had to deal with more heartbreak than anyone should be forced to endure in a lifetime.

And heartbreaking it was.

This is how Emily Maynard cries. The rest of her face doesn’t move.

Poor, poor Arie. Seeing Emily send him packing was one of the sadder moments I can remember on Bach. Maybe because she led him on to the very last hour? But don’t they always? Why do people love watching people have their heart obliterated to pieces on national television? Because we are a sick, sick society. Nuts included, I digress.

The worst moment by far was when they hugged goodbye and the mics picked up a pounding heart.  That one hurt even my jaded heart.

Painful. I cried – okay no, that would be too far.

And I’ll hand it to Arie (I’m just handing out credit to everyone possible today, it’s the new me) … although at times he’s seemed a little too emo for my liking, he really held it together in the limo. Tony was nowhere to be found and he didn’t lose it completely. Way to go.

And then, there it was. The moment we’d all been waiting for. As Jef-with-one-F secured his skinny tie to match his skinny suit pants (no surprise here) and Emily donned a “trophy-wife” gown that would be worthy of Ryan’s approval … the PROPOSAL took place.

True love looks like this ….. not being sarcastic at all. Not. At. All.

Not that it was any surprise that Jef would propose or that Emily would say yes, even though the Bachelor Producers did an EXCELLENT job of totally making the finale look more exciting than it actually was.

Yep, I’d say yes to this too.

Sigh. They’re good, real good.

And of course, having Ricki run in at the end so they could all walk away hand in hand … come on.

I will say, however, that despite my relentless bashing, poking fun and mockery making, I genuinely like Emily … and Jef. And I really do hope they live happily ever after … but it is Bachelor/ette. My hopes are not THAT high.

Cue the child running into the proposal. Perfect.

And for all the guys out there … if you want an even more concise recap, here’s what you missed: 

After The Final Rose was pretty darn cute … except the part where Arie poured out his bleeding heart – and talked about his journal.

So what I wrote a journal, flew to your hometown and got your name tattooed to my heart? I’m fine.

I feel like if I had been dumped on national television it would be my main goal to look like I was doing FINE at my next opportunity to address North America. Arie didn’t quite accomplish that task. Poor fella.

Jef and Emily did look great though … and talked about a wedding, which is pretty much a figment of people’s imagination’s when it comes to Bachelor/ette.

Our relationship may last longer than the average for reality couples … 10 minutes.

Now, as I said at the beginning I will not be doing weekly summaries of Bachelor Pad … I do have other interests (not really, but sort of). But, as a teaser treat here were my thoughts summarized: WTF.

 inanutshell.ca ‏@inanutshellca

I can’t even comment on Blakely … it’s too much. #BP3 #bachelorpad

Recipe for disaster … Oh GOD, Jamie is drinking.

 

At first I was deeply distressed I didn’t see these “super fan” applications anywhere – but holy hannah, am I ever thankful now. I don’t think I could do 2 minutes let alone 2 months with those twins.

Other things to note:

You’re still not cool.

– the complete American Psycho impression Kalon did in the mirror… what WAS that!? And when he tossed his car keys at Chris Harrison … not cool. Nobody does that to Chris Harrison, NOBODY.

– Donna the bathing suit girl sketching Michaels FACE!? Like actually sitting down and sketching his face … on paper … with a pencil. I have no words.

– Ed was actually hilariously drunk. Watching Chris Harrison interact with him was the highlight of the night. I hope he stays that drunk for the entire season. I think you’d have to be to be on BP.

– Blakely’s still cray.

One thing is for certain … there is a WHOLE LOTTA unstable people on this season … which you just KNOW will make for the best viewing experience.

… I can’t …

And with that, I’m out. See you next season and thanks for all the love!! Off to find myself a Sean-replica.

If you’re still craving a little commentary from the nuts please follow our live tweets every Monday: @inanutshellca

We beg you to shake your heads along with us.

Summer Loving These

Happy Hump Day! In order to get us over the mound and into weekend bliss – two days that may or may not be filled with shopping, reading, listening and more – I thought I would highlight a few of the items I’ve been loving lately. Similar to Kaylee’s midday musings or Meghan’s must-have cosmetics, here is a glimpse into six things that I’ve pondered greatly, and happily indulged in, throughout the blazing heat wave:

JOE FRESH’s NEW LINE: Shockingly, most of the line isn’t for sale online yet – but if you head to the freshest Joe Fresh near you, you’re bound to get a glimpse of the delicious work/play clothing combinations stacked on the affordable yet trendy racks. Unfortunately (but not really), good ol’ Mr. Fresh is my corner store (sigh) along with an LCBO parked next to it (sigh) and one of the city’s largest Loblaws below – making it incredibly difficult to pick up a bag of grapefruits…without grabbing a bottle of Cab-Sauvignon…without pitching for a flirty new work skirt. It’s a problem, but I’ve come to terms with it. Right now at Joe Fresh, this August’s silky blouses, skinny and vibrant Audrey Hepburn slacks and imitation leather bits spattered throughout the collection have made it increasingly impossible to walk out empty-handed.

Joe Fresh Fall 2012 runway show

GLUTEN-FREE VEGAN ALMOND THUMBPRINT COOKIES: I’ve been a gluten-free and soy-free (as well as many other uncategorized “frees”) vegan for the past three months in light of some testing, and although I likely won’t be that combination for much longer, I’ve learned to love cooking more than I already did. The common (and exhausting) question is, of course, what can I eat? My answer – just about anything I want. For instance, this past week I had “mac” (brown rice pasta) and “cheese” (cashew cream sauce), lasagna (using zucchini, squash, homemade marinara sauce and almond milk/nutritional yeast “cheese”), countless savoury stir fries and tasty desserts – all mimicking the real deal and leaving me oh-so-satisfied. As for these comfort cookies, Kaylee can attest to the very best part of the recipe being the finger-licking homemade jam. You can find the jist of the recipe here (I played around a bit with my own ingredients).

THE LUMINEERS: If you’ve yet to hop on this friendly folk-rock collective‘s ramblin’ train, do so immediately. This summer has been an eclectic one, since both the indie, hip-hop and electro genres have been heating up with tastes of new releases – however, their romantic front-porch Americana takes the (gluten-free) cake as one of the most played albums of the month. Nights parked on breezy balconies with these stomping folk stories are just about as lovely as it gets. Two other fun facts: the threesome is currently touring with another favourite band of mine, The Civil Wars, overseas – and someone I know will be playing the below (favourite) tune of mine during their wedding first dance with her new husband. Precious.

The Lumineers get a lot of play out here.

2012 POLARIS MUSIC PRIZE SHORT LIST:  I’m pretty pleased with the ten artists who made the coveted Polaris Prize short list this year, and like every other year, even more excited to hear which act takes the cake for best full-length Canadian album of the year. Featuring Canuck music veterans like Drake, Feist and Kathleen Edwards, the list also includes a few stand-up rookies, including Cold Specks, Grimes and Japanroids. I can’t wait to be there on September 24th when the notable jurors decide this year’s lucky winner. Who do you want to see take it?

Arcade Fire accepting last year’s 2011 Polaris Prize

NIKE SPORTBAND When I purchased the new Nike Sportband, the salesperson fulfilled his duty in thoroughly explaining the limitless funky features of the running gadget. But what I remember most in the blur of information overload was what he called out to me as I exited the store. “You’re going to have so much fun,” he exclaimed. I figured I might, of course, or else I wouldn’t have bought it. But, wow – I had no idea what I was in for. This multifaceted little bracelet connects to a chip I slide into my Nike shoe, tracking my distance, pace, calories, time and more throughout the jog. When I come home, I unhinge the face of the watch, plug it in the USB port in my computer and read all about my mileage, splits, and progress from other dashes – before gathering suggestions for routes in my area, competitions with other runners and goals I might want to set. I’m addicted to both the online and offline experience already, and highly recommend it for anyone looking to measure themselves accurately or have a more social running experience. It knows me better than I know myself at this point.

My favourite toys.

THIS NEW YORK TIMES ARTICLE (Elissa Gootman’s “Maternity Leave? It’s more like a pause“): I thought this was an incredibly interesting piece inspired by Marissa Mayer, a lady who’s the talk of the town these days for a number of reasons. Firstly, the blonde 37 year-old powerhouse was named CEO of Yahoo last week, which came before her promptly announcing she would be giving birth in October and only taking a few weeks of “working” maternity leave. “I like to stay in the rhythm of things,” she told Fortune. This NYT article is in response to dueling internet reactions of scorn and praise for the young executive – referencing the recently written Atlantic article “Why Women Still Can’t Have It All” and arguing whether short or “working” maternity leaves are empowering or frowned-upon in our hyper-connected, overworked society. Although this is no reflection of what my own approach would be, I, personally, think Mayer is fabulous – and who are we to judge how good of a Mother she’ll be? Strong women are worked to the bone everyday to juggle overwhelming commitments – whether you’re a single mother working in retail with no option of maternity “leave” or the CEO of a multinational internet company who is prepared to stick her nose to the grind. What do you think?

Yahoo’s Newest Queen of the Crop

What would be on your summer favourites list? Leave us a comment below or tweet it at @inanutshellca!

The Bachelorette Recap: Episode 10 – LOLs, OMGs and PDA on MTA

I’m a little conflicted when it comes to the Men (or Women) Tell All episode of the season … half of me can’t wait to see all the jaded ex-contestants rip each other’s heads off and half of me is like: ON WITH IT ALREADY!!!!!!!!! WHO WINS!?!?!?!?!

…Somewhat extreme reaction, but that’s why we love Bachy.

I have to say, though, that this season’s MTA was pretty freaking fantastic. Was it Chris B Harrison absolutely OWNING every man on the stage, Emily giving Kalon a nationally televised verbal b*tch-slap or Meghan sitting beside me at the height of her hilarity? Whatever it was, I was able to put the Arie-Jef agony out of my mind and enjoy the two hours of tantalizing television.

inanutshell.ca ‏@inanutshellca

@chrisbharrison is killing us. Be the bachelor already. I’ll host. #Bachelorette #MTA #TheBachelorette

The episode started by going over some of this year’s “highlights” … Doug’s awkward kiss, Chris’ awkward dancing … Ryan’s awkward beard …

Acceptable.

Utterly repulsive.

When he had his one on one time with Chris, trying to defend his fat girl comments and clear love for not Emily, but himself, we realized something: We liked Ryan in they first episode because HE WAS CLEAN SHAVEN. Seriously bro, you got to re-watch yourself on television – you think you would have realized you looked ridiculous and shaved by the time MTA rolled around. That or someone would have knocked you on the head with a rock and done it for you. Where are your friends?

inanutshell.ca ‏@inanutshellca

Ryan looks so much better without a beard. It’s shocking. #shave #likebackstage #Bachelorette #MTA

One of my favourite parts about the MTA was that the men seemed to be seated in order of when they got kicked off …. except for TONY. Cried his way to the top? Michael Scott look-alikes get front and centre privileges? He seemed so out of place but in a great, great way.

Own it TONY.

Although Chris was a) wasted b) angry and c) barely mature enough to be 17, let alone “a MATURE 25-year-old” he did have one amazing line in the Bachelor Pad preview that followed:

inanutshell.ca ‏@inanutshellca

“being partners with Blakely is like being in prison” back on team Chris. #dying #bachelorpad #Bachelorette

Here we go again.

Just the fact that Blakely is even on the show is enough to watch. AND the sneak peek saw her lying in the fetal position… which was her permanent state through all of Ben’s season – ah-mazing. It’s almost to good to be true. Jamie who climbed to bachy fame by strattling poor Ben Flajnik in a drunken and desperate attempt to stay on the show was shown dancing AGAIN. You’d think this would be among the things on her “Never will I get caught doing again, not only on television but in life” lists. Don’t we all have one of those…?

I have to admit, I don’t usually get as excited for Bachelor Pad as I do for normal Bachelor/ette. Especially after Holly won last year (hatred). But this season looks like it might actually be unreal. Put a whole bunch of unstable people in one room and it’s bound to happen, right?

I was, however, VERY upset to hear that “super fans” are on the show this year. UM HELLO. Can you imagine if the nuts invaded Bachelor Pad? They’d have material enough for ten seasons.

inanutshell.ca ‏@inanutshellca

WHY am I not on bachelor pad as a super fan!? WOW where were those applications. #TheBachelorette #bachelorpad

I think Monday’s MTA could be summarized by saying that both Chris’ were out of control. B Harrison in the best way and Chris-whatever-your-last-name-is-all-we-know-is-that-you’re-25 in the worst way.

inanutshell.ca ‏@inanutshellca

“Does anyone know what @chrisbharrison‘s job was before the #Bachelorette?” – @katelalu “Full time beauty” – @catkitts #TheBachelorette #MTA

25-year-old Chris took shots at everyone and was slurring in a way that said “They served Jack Daniels backstage.” He also yelled out “SEE YA” when they showed a clip of Ryan getting kicked off the show and then completely reiterated the perfect speech Sean said to Emily when they finally had a moment.

“I’mmmmm notttt drunkkk atshh allll”

Speaking of which … wow Sean. Like, just wow. You could not be a more perfect human and if you haven’t already been offered one million dollars to be the next Bachelor then I might just have to boycott the show for the rest of eternity.

Women all over the world are slowly undressing.

Not only was he (still) smokin’ but he had the world’s most perfect responses to every question Chris BH could throw at him. He was emotional without being a cry baby, hurt without being dramatic and gracious despite being thrown to the wolves. If there is a better man out there I dare him to email inanutshell immediately. (Like, seriously, please actually do it).

The next three tweets sums up how we collectively feel about Sean:

inanutshell.ca ‏@inanutshellca

“I really feel like the luckiest girl in the world” – Emily … “You’re a b*tch” – @megb723 on Sean going home. #Bachelorette #MTA

inanutshell.ca ‏@inanutshellca

“I want to love someone with every ounce of my being” – Sean … “Give me a milligram, I’d be ok with it” – @catkitts #TheBachelorette #MTA

inanutshell.ca ‏@inanutshellca

If there was ANY doubt that a) Sean is the perfect human or b) he will be the perfect Bachelor .. He just cleared that up. #TheBachelorette

“Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful, broke all of your hearts and forced you to pretend to be ready to be fathers.”

After Sean made every women in North America melt, Emily finally came out to face her men. Looking great and Barbie-like as always her shining moment was definitely putting Kalon in his place. Not that CBH (chris b harrison acronym) didn’t already do that, but when he apologized she called him out for being a d*ck on Twitter – posting a picture of a baggage claim and saying he thought he’d find Emily Maynard there. #sorryImnotsorry was apparently his hashtag. #sorryyourhelicoptermightgetbombed is ours.

If you are what you eat, then Kalon has had a healthy dose of cured weasel in his lifetime.

There was only one thing missing from MTA … and quite frankly, it was a big loss:

inanutshell.ca ‏@inanutshellca

………. “Unfortunately we still haven’t heard from King Gypsy” ………. – @megb723 #TheBachelorette #MTA

And then, just to twist the knife a little more for all the men who still have bleeding hearts, they recapped Emily’s relationships with Arie and Jef-with-one-F. Although it’s no secret that I’m on team Arie their recap (AGAIN!) could be summed up with two words: MAKING. OUT. It appears they have done nothing else all season. Not that I blame either party, but if I had to guess what the total count of words spoken to each other during the show would be, I’d say 25 … 28 would be pushing it.

Jef-with-one-F on the other hand….. If he doesn’t get picked he should go into romance novel writing. His monologue which played over scenes of them just loving each other was pretty effing adorable. If he didn’t look like he was 15 I might just switch to his team … at least Ricki would have someone to play hopscotch with.

Jef’s high school graduation photo … class of 2011.

And with that we are left counting the days, minutes, seconds until Sunday’s 3 HOUR finale. Excessive? Not at all.

Previews make it look like she doesn’t even end up with ANYONE – which might be enough to make me throw the remote through the television. But it wouldn’t be the first time those Bachy Gods pulled one over on us, so we’ll just have to wait and see.

Stretch your sitting muscles this week friends, back to back Bachy with BP3 starting Monday. My fortune cookie last night said good things were on the way, could it have been anymore on point!?

4 days, 99.5 hours, 5970 minutes, 358200 seconds until. we. know.

Toronto Shootings: Questioning City-Wide Safety?

Toronto is one of the safest cities in North America. Although our homicide and robbery rates are well below those of US cities of comparable size, Toronto is still touched from time to time by violent acts.”

If you Google “Toronto Safety,” the first thing to appear in the search engine is this realistic, but ineffectively reassuring, statement about our enormous metropolis. Directly below this, you’ll find hundreds of timely headlines all asking the same question about the latter declaration: Why, then, has Ontario’s capital been cursed with a string of tragic shootings that have made us feel exactly the opposite?

In the wake of a sickening shooting rampage that killed two young people at a children’s Scarborough barbecue last night, the city is shaken again. Shaken far too soon after a man opened fire on a Little Italy patio killing a gang leader while families dined in front of the Euro Cup. Far too soon after the Toronto Eaton Centre’s bustling food court was peppered with bullets during a Saturday dinner hour, killing two young men and injuring innocent bystanders including a pregnant woman and a toddler. In all three isolated scenarios, angry men with guns turned on other angry men they knew – senselessly attempting to settle their beef in public.

And so, in light of these disturbing occurrences, legislative questions are re-raised, proper allocation of social funding is suspect and, ultimately, fingers are pointed at the booming city for finding itself in a tragic and seemingly unprecedented predicament of futile gang violence. A visibly (and rightfully) distressed Police Chief Bill Blair called Scarborough’s shooting “the worst incident of gun violence anywhere in North America.” While I think Blair was overcome and realizes this is hardly the case (Columbine, Virginia Tech – even multiple casualties in last night’s Alabama bar outbreak), the gravity of the tragedies is heartbreaking and shouldn’t be trivialized. The Scarborough shooting is certainly one of, if not the, worst in recent Toronto history. That being said, gang violence is anything but new to this city – and for a home to over 3 million people, Toronto is still in a much better situation than some of its American counterparts.

Toronto is, of course, not the safest city in the world. But it is certainly not the most dangerous; certainly not one suffering from an epidemic or outbreak of incomparable random violence and chaos that will lead to locked doors, a culture of fear and the end of civility. Gang members have and will continue to seek each other out in heats of rage. Yet, we’re all wondering why 2012 has been cursed with such apparent mass calamity? This issue is multi-faceted and no one person will have the correct answer – especially not myself.  But a part of what this issue boils down to is that – alongside unparalleled sadness for anyone involved – the idiotic misuse of firearms by people with no apparent regard for other human life has plagued us as of late.

‘What can we possibly do about it’? is the exhausted question on everyone’s minds. Although targeted investment has been made in Toronto’s troubled neighbourhoods, a fact of life is that some youth and gang members will rebel against using such services. The effort to turn children away from crime needs to still be made – programs need to be offered, youth outreach has to be focused in Toronto’s “priority centres” – however, there is no accounting (in any city) for those that simply will not respond. Similarly, we should, of course, continue to rehabilitate those who have already committed crimes. Although we can strengthen already existing gun laws in new ways – the laws are in place – no one who has opened fire in Toronto’s public places in recent months has legally possessed their weapon. Banning bullets will not ban bullets. We know this. We know that this comes down to certain people, all over the world, who suffer basic human inadequacies when deciding what is right and what is wrong. As Joe Fiorito quotes in today’s Star, “We’re not talking to these young men, the ones who have the world view that makes it ‘sensible’ to shoot other people.” This issue comes down to some people, and how we can try to reach them against all of the odds. And that, I don’t immediately know how we do. But I do know that it isn’t just the neighbourhoods, the genetic makeup of this great city or the disposition of anyone who has suffered hardships in their lives. It isn’t just Toronto or the people in it.

The incidents have added up, creating a weightiness that’s almost suffocating when trying to mine over the details and logically suggest an answer. But, the bottom line is, you can’t control some people – seeing as some careless people can’t control themselves. We can try to strengthen what’s already in place, we can admire our city’s law enforcement for immediately detaining the suspects in several of this year’s unfortunate shooting incidents and we can feel compassion for their tireless involvement and own longing for solutions. But we shouldn’t be angry with Toronto or those who are realistically doing their best to protect it. We certainly shouldn’t shut ourselves out of it after decades of boasting its unity and safety. Several inexcusable and shattering incidents have occurred – the depth of each misfortune is shocking to all of us – but the plight of ridiculous human-versus-human aggression that results in random bloodshed cannot be blamed on a city that’s doing its best.

*image via

The Bachelorette Recap – Episode 9: Wow, wow, wowwwwww in Curaçao

Hi Bachy fans!

It’s been too long. I have to start off this post by saying what an incredible job Meghan did covering for me last week. Not only was her wit on point (it ALWAYS is) but it freed up the two to three hours I usually spend toiling away at these for you, so I could spend some needed time with my fam.

Fo real, they take fo ever.

“I don’t know how she does it every week.” – Meghan on bleeding over Bachy Recaps.

But the answer there is simple: I am as OBSESSED as you are. Maybe more? No, let’s go with equal fanatics.

So naturally, I was all but cartwheeling around the house waiting for this week’s episode to start.

And. start. it. did.

Opening with small summaries about each of the relationships Emily currently has with her various suitors, it painted three very different pictures.

Arie, Sean, Jef.
Hot, Hotter, Hottest. You decide which goes where.

That Sean is perfect and how she feels about him is perfect and that their life together would be, well, perfect.

Then Emily talked about Jef-with-one-f (where was the mid-season confession “Ok, ok … it’s TWO f’s!” … sigh) and how she thinks he’s “super cool”.

OK, interjection:
I’m writing this – which means I’m allowed to biased. I KNOW Jef is adorbs. I LOVED his quote from two weeks ago (- still on the hunt for a man who would say that to me.) And he IS down to earth, charming, cute, etc. But is it REALLY just me that feels like they’re relationship is sooooo high school? “I like you.” “I like you too.” Smooch. I feel like Jef-with-one-F makes her feel young and Emily makes Jef-with-one-f feel like he’s well, he’s about to round home base with the top cheerleader.

Haters gon’ hate …. but that’s how I feel.

Then there was Arie, or should I say Mr. Maynard. Their recap looked much like the one they play at the END of the show after the proposal is all said and done. It could have also been a montage of them kissing in various locations.

Emily definitely was confused by the end of the recaps as she wrote: Emily + ? in the sand, (not cheesy at all. wow.) to which the question mark was quickly washed away with the tide. And by tide I mean Chris Harrison standing off camera with a large pail of water. Come on.

This was too much.

But as the one-on-one dates kicked off only ONE thing was clear: I WANT TO GO ON A DATE IN CURACAO FUNDED BY THE BACHELOR.

Holyyyyy hannah. If the men weren’t pretty perfect in themselves, the dates were out of this world.

Awkwaaaaaaaaaaard.

Just a casual jaunt to a private island for Sean & Emily … no big deal. It DID, however, remind us all a litttttle too much of when Emily and Brad had their almost-to-last date on a private island. And Sean & Brad could definitely be related in some brawny-hunk kind of way. Maybe Sean is doomed after all.

At dinner, Emily was looking for Sean to drop the l-bomb. I mean, fair. At this point people have been saying it for WEEKS. After all Sean, you guys HAVE known each other for like two months at this point… WHAT’RE YOU WAITING FOR!?!?!

“I really feeling like I lo…. ve it here.” “I look at you and I’m just like wow I’m in love-ly Curacao with a beautiful woman.” Spit it out Sean.

The handsome devil did manage to utter the words and to top it off he wrote the most ADORABLE letter to Ricki as a pre-emptive measure before they meet. WOW SEAN. Like, get more perfect. Seriously.

Sex ed lesson # 1

As I predicted Emily was going to be all “responsible mommy” about the fantasy suites like she was on Brad’s season. Woiuldn’t want to give Ricki the wrong idea … you know, “don’t go all the way just get half naked and make out with multiple boys in bikinis honey, that’s okay.”

But she did spend some quality extra time with Sean after they “for-goed their individual rooms” – (God Chris Harrison, you freaking stud) – and by the end of the night there was only one thing on my mind. “He’s NOT going home” …. dun dun dunnnnn.

How everyone wants their fantasy date night to end.

And then came Jef-with-one-f’s date. Previews showed him asking Emily some tough questions ilke “you’re a great girl, that attracts great men. Why hasn’t it worked out!?” eeeesh. I think if someone said that to me I would just silently blink at them for a few minutes until they asked me how my entree was instead.

Producers off screen: “Don’t. touch. THAT.”

But, their date was nothing short of absolute perfection. Jumping off boats, canoodling, the world’s most incredible fantasy suite. I may not be on team Emily & Jef but I would have gladly third-wheeled that date any day.

inanutshell.ca ‏@inanutshellca

I feel like if I pooled all my life savings, I may be able to afford the bathtub in Emily & Jef’s fantasy suite. #bachelorette

Hi guys :)

Same deal went for Em & Jef’s brief fantasy suite CHAT … somewhere the producers are slamming their fists into walls and the camera men are rioting because they’re usually off work by now.

All we do is kiss, kiss, kiss, no matta WHAT. Got roses on my mind, I can never get enough.

Arie and Emily’s date consisted of a whole lottaaaaaaaa …. making out. Like, an excessive amount. Like, I’m not sure if they actually know each other’s eye colour. They did take a brief break from smooching to… SWIM WITH DOLPHINS. Because that’s normal. I’m convinced the dolphin in question was either a) a robot. Think friendly jaws… b) specially trained in a bachelor-run zoo, I mean there seems to be lots of animal encounters in these programs … c) Chris Harrison in a dolphin suit. Too far?

But, even Emily picked up on Mr. Grabby hands and said “she didn’t trust herself enough with Arie” to even ENTERTAIN the idea of chilling in the fantasy suite. She also proceeded to cry uncontrollably.

“Do you think Arie goes home and that’s why Emily was acting like it was the apocalypse when she chose not to sleep with him in the fantasy suite?” Shannon on being slutty and a crybaby.

Stop it, Mom. Just stop.

Going into the rose ceremony we were all a little distracted by Emily’s attire. Not only was she rocking her DREADED fake ponytail ( – you have people HELPING you to get ready, how does this fall through the cracks… TWICE), but she seemed to also be prepared for an underwater wedding, rocking a MAD mermaid skirt. Like, she might as well have dyed her hair red, named herself Ariel and called it a day.

Dana Weiss ‏@Possessionista

Red Lobster. RT @TheOverAnalyst @Possessionista where is that skirt from?

Retweeted by inanutshell.ca

I wanna be, where the boys are, I wanna see, wanna see em’ squirming. Walking around wanting… what do you call it? oh. a rose. (stop me before I do the whole song)

Em also was having trouble keeping it together while speaking to Chris. Maybe because they are an ITEM!? Jokes. That rumour was debunked rather quickly … what a shame.

struggling. and not just because of the pHony tail.

But, in ALL serious (I can be, sometimes, you know) … I get her. I would feel TERRIBLE telling someone I’ve spent the last 8 weeks assuring that I really like them and I could picture them being my HUSBAND that actualllyyyyy it’s not going to work out. Like ever again.

Ouch. Guilt complex.

So, as she watched slightly corny testimonials of the guys saying their last plea, she started getting emotional during Jef’s which I thought meant FOR SURE that he was going home. I was even questioning Arie a bit because of her fantasy suite snub, but I thought Sean was safe fa sho. I mean, would she not be insane to let this hottie go?

Then came the roses with the first one going to JEF.
WHAT. PARDON. Ok, now my blood pressure is rising, wtf is going on here. ARIE or SEAN .. could this be!? I was floored, and when she called out Arie’s name solidifying that Sean was going home denial, disbelief and practically delusion set in.

BLINDSIDED. CRAY.

May be more blindsided than I was. Debatable though.

I guess it’s all true. You can be TOO perfect and nice guys DO finish last. Orrrrrrrr, Sean was a real wiener and the Bachy producers did a good job of covering it up. Whatever the case, I’d be shocked if Sean hasn’t already signed his contract to become the next Bachelor. Looks like I’m applying after all.

And so we wait with bated breath for the season finale. Teasers make it look like she doesn’t even get proposed to. HOW. IS. IT. TWO. WEEKS. AWAY.

Can’t wait to see the claws fly at next week’s “The Boys Tell All.”  … It IS my mother’s birthday that day but …. family < Bachy. Just kidding mom.

May the best man WIN.

* We stopped tallying Bachy scores because a) it’s gotten too intense b) I was so far in the lead no one had a chance. All hail the Queen.

If you did a Bachelor pool with your friends we’d love to hear about it! Send us things you added, took away, or things you’d like to see in the future! Our Bachy Parties aren’t going ANYWHERE.

What’s fat about that?

As a group of female writers, who love pop culture, fashion and beauty, it’s inevitable that at one time or another, snarky comments tend to be made about the celebrity of the moment. Whether we dislike someone’s dress on the red carpet or are shocked by the amount of botox that a young actress appears to have gotten, we know that we’re not innocent in passing judgment on public figures. It’s the name of the celebrity game; opening oneself up to the criticism of society. What we don’t encourage or engage in, is the mindless bashing of body figures.

We often speak to the topic of leading a healthy lifestyle on this blog. Whether it be healthy recipes, to our favourite songs to exercise to, we’re definitely on board with trying to live as healthy and well-rounded a lifestyle as possible. In the past, I’ve highlighted issues involving women’s body image, from the American Apparel Plus-Size Campaign to unrealistic standards of beauty as outlined by the beauty industry. Today, there is a news story floating around the web that I couldn’t help but shed some light on.

A blog, ‘skinny-gossip’, otherwise known as a forum where skinny women can come together to discuss a life of thin-ness and share starvation tips, have now taken it upon themselves to mock celebrities who they deem fat. On their target list: Sports Illustrated Swimsuit model, Kate Upton.

Her? Seriously?

The author posted un-flattering pictures of 19 year old Upton, discussing things from her, “hugh thighs, no waist and big fat floppy boobs.” Calling her a ‘piggy’, the anonymous author asks, “Have we really gotten so fat in this country that Kate is the best we can aim for? Sorry but: eww!” While the blog has since issued a statement that asserts the site is pro-skinny & healthy, not pro-anorexic, it’s safe to say that this type of negative forum where even SUPERMODELS are trashed, isn’t doing any favours to encourage a healthy body image for women of ANY size, whether they’re a 2 or a 20.

The author asserted that Upton is 30 pounds too heavy to wear this bikini.

While rocking bodacious curves, Kate Upton may not fit the mold of an average runway model, but not many women in North America do. And what, may I ask you, is so wrong with that? Runway models start as young as 13, so why should adult women be aspiring to look pubescent? This issue has come to the forefront of women’s health and fitness, with slogans such as “Healthy is the new Skinny’ being promoted by athletes and women’s publications. But, as this latest on-line forum indicates, there are still a lot of women out there who could care less about being healthy, so long as they’re wafer thin.

So, let them have their opinions, black coffee and celery sticks; I’ll take a balanced diet and workout regime over that, any day. And personally, if I looked like Kate Upton in a bikini, I’d probably never wear anything else…in a nutshell.

Yep, I’d settle for that.