About Catherine Kitts

Catherine (@catkitts) will rarely say no to a new adventure. After completing her Bachelor of Journalism at Carleton University, she worked at the editor of a local newspaper for three years before trading hard news for the world of communications, marketing and advertising. Constantly juggling hectic work and social schedules, she always makes time for some of her biggest passions: news, sports, pop culture, cuisine, literature and many others. You can expect her to cover a wide variety of topics, keeping her finger on the pulse of Ottawa, her hometown - a city she's grown to love. *Bad Habit: never wanting to miss out *Favourite Food: pickles *Favourite Restaurant: El Camino *Wine of Choice: whatever Kate is drinking *Favourite Band: (solo artist?) Justin Timberlake *Favourite Song: Dancing in the Dark - Springsteen *Favourite Movie: Back to the Future *TV Series: Seinfeld *Sport: Hockey *Team: Ottawa Senators *Favorite Book: Great Expectations - Charles Dickens ** To contact Catherine write her at : inanutshellca@gmail.com

Bachelor/ette FEVER

SOMEHOW still together!!?!? ….. SOME. HOW.

I first started writing my “Bachelor Recaps” because our weekly viewings were just too hilarious not to capture and share.

Now, since the devastating finale when Ben got on one knee and proposed to the devil incarnate, also known as Courtney, in early March – and our Monday’s have been replaced with laundry, grocery shopping and sheer misery – I have been asked an inordinate amount of times “WHEN is the Bachelorette starting!?!?!

Well ladies (and @Bakkesy), your prayers have been answered. Bachelor/ette fever is back in the air.

There’s not much I can do to contain myself before Emily Maynard takes centre stage as the newest Bachelorette. While some (read: Kate) think that the sweet single Mom will make for a boring bachelorette, I beg to differ. Does anyone remember America’s most vile contestant Bentley from Ashley’s season? Aside from being the scum of the universe, he basically went on the show in the hopes that Miss. Maynard would be there. I predict guys will fall extra hard and go extra nuts over this woman who, seemingly, has zero flaws.

Oh… and did I mention, that season premiere is LESS than two weeks away. Hallelujah, praise the Lord. Set to begin on MAY 14 it looks like I will be getting an early birthday present. Yahoo.

Yesterday, Emily’s bodacious bachelors were revealed. You can see the “babes” here.

Of interest is Arie, a 30-year-old race. car. driver. ……….… ok COME ON ABC. Is this not turning the knife a little? Emily’s ex-finace, who is also the father of her daughter, was a race car driver who died in a tragic plane crash. Ratings, ratings, ratings. Right?

There is also a CANADIAN from Sydney, Nova Scotia – but given past Canadian bachelor contestants, he’ll probably just embarrass our entire nation. See: Justin “Rated R” Rego, for more on that.

not bad, not bad.

Ryan – the football player, Doug – the philanthropist and Aaron – the biology teacher all seem like they have baby daddy potential. But, who knows … maybe Emily will fall for Charlie’s Tennesse charm, Alejandro’s mushroom farm (!?!?! immediate dismissal due to hatred for food) or Jean-Paul because he is a marine biologist … George Costanza would be so proud.

In any case it seems like it will be a real TREAT to watch Emily whittle down the group of 25 to 19 on Episode 1.

CAN. HARDLY. WAIT. #bachyparty

In other exciting Bachelor news – (isn’t ALL Bachelor news exciting news!?) the inaugural bachelor for the Bachelor CANADA was finally announced after much anticipation.

AND after above mentioned anticipation, Canada let out a communal: “Who the F is that!?”

CityTV announced yesterday that former CFL player Brad Smith (could you pick a more generic name, please!) will step up to the plate as our nation’s trial run. The 28-year-old is the son of Canadian senator, Larry Smith and graduated from Queen’s University. He played on both the Montreal Alouettes and the Toronto Argonauts.

…Decent credentials, I suppose.

I think he looks a cross between a poor man’s Andy Samberg and Cory Monteith? … Cory Monteith! Now THERE is an eligible Canadian Bachelor.

To be fair, I’ve never been attracted to ANY of the Bachelor’s … except Brad Womack. Swoon. Just lovvvve those commitment phobes.

The Canadian season, that will air in the fall, will more than likely plague me as a constant reminder that I declined to apply. Fame comes at a price, my friends, and that price sometimes has to be willingly allowing yourself to participate in the most ridiculous reality show on television…

Where do I sign up for season two?

— Stay tuned for details on our BACHELOR CONTEST. To be revealed before Emily’s May 14th premiere —

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Conquering Caesar: Canada’s cocktail

As in a nutshell’s resident nightlife correspondent, I feel as though that automatically makes me our Caesar expert as well. List off all the “hangover cures” you want – Advil, Gatorade, Big Mac, four litres of water, shower, quick run, slap in the face – while all are tried, tested and true, nothing does it for me like a cold and delicious Caesar. Extra spicy, of course.

In the good ol’ days when all the nuts lived in one place, after any big night out you could bet your first born that we’d be slothed around a brunch table, Caesar’s in one hand, head in the other.

So, it seemed a little too perfect when we were contacted by Mott’s Clamato to meet with Caesar expert Clint Pattemore to unlock the secret behind Ottawa’s best Caeser.

Over a delicious lunch at Murray Street restaurant we were treated to great food and two rounds of spectacular cocktails (yes, I returned to work afterwards. Sadly). What makes their Caesar the talk of the town? Homemade clamato juice, garlic, chipotle peppers and a secret ingredient – savoury spice. Not to mention it came with a celery stick topped with cheese whiz (!!!!!). If you’re into the traditional taste this one may not be your favourite but it’s smoky undertones definitely makes it a drink to remember.

Created in 1969, in Calgary by a man by the name of Walter Chell, the Caesar has now officially been named “Canada’s cocktail”. Right up there with poutine, smoked meat and Tim Horton’s, it’s true that whenever I’ve been away from the homeland I catch myself wanting, needing and craving the taste of that familiar and perfect combination. Not to mention, that irresistible spicy bean.

When asked why the Caesar has managed to climb it’s way to Canadian glory, Clint had what I consider to be the perfect response – it’s versatile. People can customize it to fit their particular taste. How true.

Bad balance.

And given our nation’s tendency to accommodate, how Canadian.

For Clint, whose job is basically to travel around the country promoting the drink –  (ummm, hello. Are you hiring?) he says the perfect mix is all about balance. No ingredient should overpower the rest – even spice.

He particularly liked it when I asked him if he’s a “mild or wild” kind of guy. Didn’t realize the nuts coined that term, but if Canada’s Caesar EXPERT had never heard it, I guess we did. Copyright.

Looking out for my Toronto home girls I asked what he considers to be Toronto’s best Caesar. Looks like Kaylee and Jess will have to try out a little place called Finn’s of Temple. Their wide variety of Caesar options means almost anyone could find something to suit their style. And get this, they have a VEGAN one. Somewhere Jess is doing a summersault.

Kate likes hers with pickle juice. And a side of hand.

For me personally, I consider Fresco’s Bistro Italiano on Elgin to have Ottawa’s best. But, as a spice lover their horseradish addition is what has me sold. 10fourteen also has a Caesar that will allow you to finish it off in about 5 seconds flat. Secret ingredient there? Fresh cucumber juice. Holy hannah, delicious. But, if you’re looking for the real deal hangover Caesar, head to Lieutenants Pump. $10 for a mason jar, complete with 3 shots of alcohol? … “We’ll all have one, thanks.”

However, aside from all the Caesar talk, perhaps the biggest lesson I learned amid lots of laughs with Mr. Pattemore, was his fun fact about tequila. Clearly doing his research on the nutshell girls (we love the stuff), he filled me in that tequila made with 100 per cent Agave is actually the healthiest thing you can drink.

Really not helping me cut down on the partying with tips like that, Clint.

Now, if you’ll excuse me I have a date with Canada’s favourite cocktail and some good friends. Happy drinking.

A girl’s guide to surviving the playoffs

Ladies, if you haven’t noticed … it’s the playoffs.

Now you know.

While I may be in the slim demographic of women who actually LOVE the NHL playoffs, I feel for those that lose their boyfriends, brothers, roommates to the television / stadium / bar for two months of (epic) competition.

So, in a philanthropic effort to soothe the girlfriend playoff pain I turned to a couple gems for a little advice. Below are some tips. Girls, pay attention and you might even have a chance with Henrik Lundqvist. (Already lost you … haven’t I).

–         If you have a boyfriend, love his team.

–         If you don’t, pick a team. A good team (do some research).  Don’t pick a team because you like their jerseys or because you like Mike Fisher. We all get it, he’s hot and great.

Ok, COME ON.

–         Once you have a team, know when they play. ie “Hey Rick, we watching the Flyers game tonight?” He will be so impressed that he may fall in love on the spot, or at least cook you a nice meal sometime.

–          Once you pick a team learn a few players’ names so you can try and contribute to the “hockey talk”. Random facts are key. ie ”You boys know why they sing God Bless America rather than the national anthem in Philadelphia? Because its been a tradition since the 70s in the playoffs” Jaws will drop.

–         If someone says “Don’t you know who so and so is?” Say yes. Even if you have no idea.

–         Once your team is out, pick another team. But anytime you don’t know an answer you can now just use the excuse “Yeah sorry I only follow the…..” Scapegoat.

–         Nothing is better than a girl who has her favourite team’s attire…. Especially old school. Shows you’ve been a long-time fan. Even if you haven’t.

–         On game day pizza and beer always makes a great meal suggestion. Always.

–         Never ever say you think a player on the opposing team is cute, because a) I dont *!@#ing care if you think he’s cute and b) he plays for the enemy. Actually, no complimenting anyone wearing the opposing team’s colours at all. Even if it fits them well, or brings out their eyes. Keep those comments to yourself.

–         Don’t question any superstitions we may have about the game. ie. Specific seat, or meal / beer, can’t wash our jerseys, need a type of chew. Everything is done for a reason, one we don’t have to explain. It’s playoffs.

–         I don’t care if you don’t like my beard. It’s tradition. Say you like it.

This is repulsive.

–         If we’re watching at home don’t ask to flip during commercials. We’re likely flipping between 3 games. Or more.

–         If we’re not watching together, an intermission is a great time to text. Even a TV time out is ok. Do not text me when we’re on the penalty kill and down 3-2. Or in overtime. Or anytime at all during the game.

–         Never use the term “well they tried hard” I mean I damn well hope they tried hard, they’re professional hockey players and this is the PLAYOFFS.

–         Don’t ask me if I really need another beer because I really don’t but I’m stressed out and it makes me feel better.

–         Don’t tell a guy “he’s too drunk”. There is a method to his madness. If his team is winning, he’s drinking to celebrate. If it’s a tight game he’s drinking because he’s nervous. If they are getting killed, he’s drinking to forget. Best way to handle it is get as drunk as he is, and try and feel the same way.

#GoSensGo

–         Accept the fact that I will use horrible, horrible language at home, at the game, at the bar, in the car, and in front of children if something goes wrong in the game I am watching.

–         If it goes into overtime, we’re watching it. Yes, sometimes it takes forever and yes that means you might not be able to watch Grey’s Anatomy. We’re watching it.

–         If they don’t win, don’t talk about it unless you’re complaining about the refs.

–         Don’t you dare celebrate if my team gets bumped out of the playoffs because that means we can start hanging out again. I’ll break up with you. I mean it.

–         And most importantly, DON’T ASK QUESTIONS. Like if I’m yelling “That’s *$!#ing offside, didn’t you see that?” you may not know what offside is, but you agree. “Totally offside.” Questions are for the internet.

So there you have it ladies. You should now be well equipped to score some serious girlfriend points over the next few weeks. My best advice? Get. On. Board. Sure you might not take an interest in men batting around a puck, bloody fights and rules you don’t understand most of the year … but the best thing about playoffs is it’s an excuse to party … every night. And what could be better than that?

Doesn't this look like fun? Also, I'm wearing an old school jersey.

Big shout out to the boys that helped put this together, Jordan Stitt, Blake Brooks, Zach Neilson, Zach Jenner, Kevin Eller, Graeme Owens, Joey Manley and Jared Hutchinson, Ph D.

FTB, all of them.

Live your life.

I think I’ve mentioned this on nutshell before, but there are a lot of things I love about my job. Even though I know I don’t want to work in community news for the rest of my life (or even the rest of this year), it’s a job in a field that I love and it has taught me a lot. Between the deadlines, stories falling through, unreturned calls, nightmares about going to press and an inbox of ever-flowing emails, comes learning, writing and most importantly, hearing stories of inspiration from some incredible people.

Anytime I come across a story that warms my heart, it makes my head spin and often has me telling anyone in a five mile radius about it for days. But, it’s even more special when the story comes from someone you know, someone around your age, someone who you can relate to, more or less.

This was the case when I met up with an old high school friend, two weeks ago, to hear his story. One I instantly knew would make a great front page for my newspaper. After being tipped off from a friend, (“Remember Nick Carriere from St. Matts?”) about a video that was circulating Facebook, I quickly got in touch with the guy who had graduated two years earlier than I had in high school and had played football alongside my old boyfriend for years.

Meeting at a coffee shop, as journalists often do, I had set aside a good 30 minutes of my day to get the facts from this football player, now turned national bobsledder. (Interesting story, or what?) An hour and a half later, I left completely inspired by what this 26-year-old had to say.

After leading the McGill Redmen on the field and being drafted 21st overall to the Toronto Argonauts, Nick suffered an off-season shoulder injury that left him with a year of rehab and a shattered dream. Being released from the CFL, he said to himself that maybe he had done what he had set out to do. He was free from the stress that comes with having your success only measured by your last game. Free from the pressure of having 20 guys, at any given time, ready to take your spot. For Nick, he thought, “Maybe it’s time to ‘grow up’, get a ‘real job’, ‘settle down’,” like other people his age seemed to be doing. But, in reality, he felt like he had lost his identity. “Nick Carriere, he’s a really good football player,” could no longer be said about him, something that had defined him for the last few years of his life.

After bouncing around to different parts of the country and trying his hand at the ‘professional world’, he said he knew he wasn’t living up to his potential. He wasn’t happy and is that not what we’re constantly told is life’s most important aspiration?

So, he got back in shape, regaining the 30 or so pounds of muscle he lost during his recovery and in the process turned heads with his incredible strength, endurance and perseverance. Being told, for the third time, that he should look into bobsledding, a sport that requires an explosion of raw strength from the outset, Nick decided to finally investigate something he hardly knew anything about.

Making a long story short, he was among the very few selected to attend a special camp in Calgary for athletes that Bobsled Canada feels could make an immediate impact to the national team. He was one of four men, all current or former CFL players, to be invited.

Now, with little money in his pockets, travel and training expenses gallore, only ever having gone down a bobsled track a handful of times and a slight apprehension for the unknown, Nick’s “real life” reality is that he’s moving to Calgary this month to train with the national team. In hopes that after a summer of hard work, he’ll join the world circuit and with any luck, will make Canada proud in the 2014 Winter Olympics, in Sochi, Russia.

As we sat, years after graduating from high school, talking about our professional lives, Nick explained that of course he has concerns that he’s not following the usual “get a good job, marry a nice girl, buy a nice house,” pattern that so many of his friends have done, but for him and his own personal goals, he knows he’s doing what he’s meant to be doing.

The stories he told me about his amazingly supportive network of family and friends and all those who have put their time, their money and their belief into what he’s capable of, was truly touching to hear.

So why am I now writing ANOTHER article about someone I only sort-of knew in high school and has already graced my paper’s front page? Because his story is touching, important and inspiring. How often do we go through the motions of what we think “real life” is supposed to be. I, myself, am guilty for feeling like at age almost-24 it’s time to get in gear. While people roll their eyes at me and say, “you’re so young”, I sometimes feel like I’m on fast forward. Every day that goes by is another day not travelling the world, not at the peak of my career, paying rent instead of owning property, having a bare left ring finger and a modest bank account.

Kaylee and Nick's spontaneous Europe adventure

In the last few years, I’ve watched my friends (/nuts) quit their jobs to go travelling, take internships in foreign places, move to a new city just for a change, make sacrifices for the ones they love, suffer the mental pain of going back to school and each time, no matter how crazy or impractical their decisions seem, I applaud them with full force.

Jenn in Cambodia.

Life is about following your heart and without being selfish or neglecting support from others, making yourself truly happy.

And finally, because so many people have helped out our “little blog that could”, it’s now time to return the favour. With every link shared, comment posted, “Like” button clicked or word of encouragement spoken, you’ve made these five girls beam with pride.

So send a little love to someone who needs it right now. Visit Nick’s website My Ride To Slide, read his posts, watch the video, follow him on Twitter and “Like” his Facebook page.

Because everyone needs a favourite athlete to cheer on in the Olympics, and who’s ever gotten by “without a little help from their friends”?

It’s the little things …

Most holidays give you time to reflect a little on what you have to be thankful for. In my eyes, Easter is no exception. As we prepare for family dinners, easter egg hunts and gorging ourselves on way too much chocolate, it’s also that little break we need, at the beginning of a new season, to set your sights on the months ahead.

Some days, weeks or even months it’s all too easy to get bogged down with life’s little disappointments, but it’s then that you often realize how lucky you are to be surrounded by such great people.

I rule my life on the principle that some of the most poignant moments are made from the smallest gestures. As of late, it seems like everyday I have someone to thank for making my day a little brighter.

Here are just a FEW of the little things that have touched my heart recently. If you haven’t had the chance to do something nice for someone you care about recently, take this as inspiration. Because you’ll never realize how even the smallest of actions, can make the biggest difference.

Girls always love getting flowers. But, delivered by surprise, without any cause or occasion, may be the best way to get them.

Some of your favourite magazines. Just because. Love, Mom.

Old fashioned mail is the best. Especially if it comes with a housewarming gift of your favourite animal. And especially if it comes from your best friend.

Returning the favour. Ten fold, when you get back more than you gave. And it includes a night out with ur bestie. And a television appearance.

Why have I been collecting postcards since I was 6? Because it's so nice to know you're thought of when people away traipsing the world.

A visit from a friend, a snuggle in bed, a glass of wine shared. Is there anything better?

"There's a beer in the fridge for you." ... Work hard, play hard. The after work unwind.

One of the cuter moments of my 2012. Coming home to a surprise and a thoughtful note, just to brighten a bad day. #roomielove

Falling asleep on top of the covers, with the lights on, happens on the regular. Getting them turned off and tucked in, does not. Nothing better to wake up to.

Here’s hoping someone brightens your grey day too.

Happy Easter, from all of the nuts. xo

May the odds be ever in your favor…..

As has been stated many times on nutshell in the past, I’m a bit of a nerd when it comes to being totally in love with books. In fact, construction is currently underway on my very own basement mini-library. If I’m not out sipping on cocktails with the girls, or dancing on a speaker somewhere, at home curled up with a book is right where I want to be.

So it may be strange then, that I did NOT read the Hunger Games. In fact, until Monday evening I knew little to nothing about the best-selling novel, turned movie, except that it was highly popular and had done insanely well on its first weekend at the box office.

No thanks.

Who do I blame for missing out on this fresh piece of pop-culture literature? Twilight. Sorry Edward lovers, I KNOW I’m probably offending a multitude of people as I write this, but bear with me – it’s just not my style. Everyone loves a good old fashioned love story, yes, but everything about Twilight was just too juvenile and too corny for me to get behind. So alas, I figured the Hunger Games was following suit on the same kind of teen craze.

But, as I discovered Monday night when a friend suggested a night at the movies and offered up the Hunger Games as a suggestion … I was very wrong. The content of this movie is anything but juvenile (except a few slightly corny parts, that are really not as painful as any Bella-Edward-Jacob-vampire/warewolf-love-triangle-romance). It actually surprised me at times with its brutality and had me jump in my seat at least once (I’m a baby). Even the entire plot line is pretty gruesome … children getting offered up to fight to the death? Suzanne Collins (the author) you’re one twisted lady, but also, it seems, a genius.

Without giving anything away the basic plot line is as follows: Seen through the eyes of sixteen-year-old Katniss Everdeen, who lives in a post-apocalyptic world in the country of “Panem” where North America once existed, she must compete in the “Hunger Games”, a kind of gladiatorial contest which is thrown annually by “The Capitol”. The Capitol is a highly advanced metropolis that holds absolute power over the rest of the nation. The games consist of one boy and one girl aged 12 to 18 from each of the 12 districts surrounding the Capitol, who are selected by lottery, to compete in a televised battle in which only one person can survive.

The Capitol and the people in it, are really neat to see in the film and not what I was expecting at all. And although I can’t comment on how it stacks up to the book, reviews have been pretty positive so far. At 2 hours and 36 minutes it’s obvious that lovers of the novel will feel it’s a little bit in fast forward but as a film it flows smoothly and I was never lost or feeling like I needed further explanation on anything that may have been skimmed over. Since I did not read the books, I was happy that the 2 and a half hours actually flew by. As someone who gets a little antsy sitting for too long in one spot … I hardly noticed the passage of time or thought to myself “Ok, WHEN is this going to be over?”

Lenny Kravitz as Cinna, Woody Harrelson as Haymitch, Josh Hutcherson as Peeta

The acting (again, aside from one particularly corny scene) is actually pretty outstanding, especially given the young cast and group of unknown actors. The main character, Katniss, played by up and coming star Jennifer Lawrence, is seriously badass. Thinking about a legal name change to Catniss Kitts … I think it flows nicely.

And if you want to get a little analytical on it… what a homerun for the heroine. Written by a female, starring a female, loved by the world. You go girl.

Basically, I feel like if you’re a fan of the Harry Potter movies, especially the later, more grown-up more, gruesome ones, Hunger Games is a safe choice to curb your cinema craving.

The reason I wanted to write this post is for all those, like me, who didn’t really understand the hype, saw the previews and thought it might fit under the weird, sort of sci-fi love story like Avatar (hated that too by the way, tough critic) and didn’t give it much other thought. But, now I totally think it’s a must-see and of course, will be heading to the bookstore on my lunch break to buy the trilogy.

Nerd at heart, forever and for always.

Here are some other interesting articles re: The Hunger Games. (All of which I’ve now read following my enthusiastic endorsement):

–         http://www.salon.com/2012/03/22/the_sexual_politics_of_the_hunger_games/singleton/

–         http://jezebel.com/5896408/racist-hunger-games-fans-dont-care-how-much-money-the-movie-made

–         http://www.mtv.com/news/articles/1681798/hunger-games-movie-book-changes.jhtml

–         http://news.yahoo.com/hunger-games-battles-155m-opening-weekend-154147044.html

–         http://www.ctv.ca/CTVNews/CanadaAMColumns/20120322/richard-crouse-move-review-the-hunger-games-120322/

–         http://articles.businessinsider.com/2012-03-24/entertainment/31232834_1_katniss-everdeen-hunger-games-panem

Bucket list to put a Spring in your step

I’ll be honest; I’m not really a big spring fan. In fact, it’s my least favourite season. Of course it’s wonderful to see the snow melt, wear a lighter jacket and if you’re as lucky as we in Ottawa have been for the last few days, score some unreal weather. But, with spring comes rain and puddles (in other words, wet socks. SHUDDER.). Not to mention, the weather is a little unpredictable, for example: it was almost 30 degrees with the humidex … tomorrow it will be 9. Talk about a tease, bring on summer.

But, I think my real issue with the spring is there’s not anything too exciting to look forward to. Fall gives you Thanksgiving, Halloween, carving pumpkins, jumping in leaves, new sports and television seasons. Winter’s got Christmas, skating, vacation days, family time, that first week we get snow and it’s actually exciting. And don’t even get me started on SUMMER. I have already been day dreaming about my favourite time of the year for weeks: patios, bbqs, sunshine, bike rides, cottages, popsicles, Bluesfest, Canada Day, HOPE BEACH! I could go on and on … June 21st get here faster.

So perhaps, now more than ever, a bucket list is in order to get us excited about a season that is really only a warm up for the one that follows it. And I have to say, I did pretttttyyyyyy well on my winter bucket list. Checking things off is so satisfying…. enjoy.

  1. Abandon the car

As a fairly recent car owner I know how easy it is to turn to your vehicle for even the shortest five minute errand. It’s convenient, it’s fast and hey, when the weather’s bad it can be a godsend. But, now that the weather is shaping up a little you have one less excuse to rely on your whip. I for one, LOVE riding my bicycle (nerd, yes). I’ve even been known to kick a hangover with a little cruise by the canal. Wind in my face? Works every time. So this spring, try to kick the keys and enjoy the fact that it’s not minus anything outside. Hallelujah.

  1. Throw a barbeque

I know for many, one of the most exciting things about warmer weather is getting the barbeque fired up. Truth me told, I do duck every time I light one … but I definitely enjoy the fruit of it’s labour. It’s almost like everything tastes better when hot off the grill. There is nothing like sitting around on a patio with your friends, drinking beers or sangria and laughing the night away. Nothing. Lucky for me, I just moved into a house that was a perfect patio for just this activity. It may not rival the summer where Kaylee had the entire roof of a building at her disposal and our Monday night barbeques became large and legendary. But, it may come close.

Take me back!

  1. Spring cleaning

Recently, Meghan and I have been on. the. same. page. 17 years of friendship might do that to you, I guess. So today when she posted her spring cleaning post after I had written my bucket list items YESTERDAY I was not shocked at all. Great minds Meggo, great minds. She definitely says it best, but there’s nothing like tidying up your life a little to make you feel great. If there was one thing I learned from having four strapping boys move my belongings earlier this month it was “You have A LOT of clothes.” Hint taken. Time to purge.

  1. Splurge: sunglasses

essential accessory.

A new season almost ALWAYS makes you itch to hit the mall, even if your wallet is empty. After two back to back weekends away I definitely need to keep my spending in check for the next month. Therefore, a full wardrobe revitalization (didn’t I JUST say I didn’t need more clothes? oops.) is not possible but I don’t think a full stray from the mall is possible either. I’ve decided if there is one absolutely essential thing you can splurge on in spring it’s sunglasses (say THAT 10 times fast).Those puppies are an everyday accessory that are going to be pretty much planted on your face every time you enter the great outdoors for the next five months. So unless you chronically lose your sunglasses (guilty) saving up for a stellar pair is acceptable in my books. Tip: My fave sunglasses finds for my overly small framed face have come from Banana Republic.

  1. Be a kid: spring edition

Any avid reader of my seasonal bucket lists will notice this item has become a permanent fixture. The reason being that I think it is vitally important to never take yourself too seriously. Life can get NUTS (in both the good and bad sense). So it’s necessary sometimes to remind yourself of the worry free ways your kid-self had. I also just adore doing anything spontaneous or competitive and child like things usually have an element of both. Last year, a friend of mine threw an Easter dinner for all our friends that couldn’t make it home. My parents live in Ottawa, so I didn’t meet the criteria but still scored an invite since my family goes big on brunch for “Pâques” and my supper plans were wide open. Kelly, the hostess with the mostest, had planted eggs filled with candy all over her house and backyard. She gave us all baskets and let us rip! Of course, we were ten adults practically tackling each other outside, dumping out each others baskets, slamming doors in faces and being all out unruly … but it’s up there in my list of extremely fun times. And if that wild batale royale doesn’t sound up your ally, paint some Easter eggs or splash around in a puddle. Should still do the trick.

  1. Go for a run

I must admit, I am not one of those people that love to run.

Someday.

They seem to exist but I’m not sure how. For exercise, I’m all about doing activities. Yoga, dance, bike rides, beach volleyball, swimming. Running for me just doesn’t have the same fun factor. But, I digress, having moved back close enough to the canal … there is a certain kind of satisfaction that comes from putting your iPod in and pounding the pavement on a nice day. Perhaps the best way to clear your head. Ever. So you can bet you’ll be able to find me on the path alongside one of Ottawa’s biggest attractions this season.

  1. Do something out of the ordinary

Ever have one of those weeks where it seems like nothing goes your way? You lose an important document, get locked out of your house, spill coffee on your white skirt and just when you think it can’t get any worse? You back into a flower pot and tear off half your bumper. When I get in a rut like this I always feel the need to compensate for it with something really fun to pick my spirits back up. My spring suggestion? Try something new. Tag along with your guy friends when they go fishing, pack a buddy in your front seat and drive out to Albert to stop at the world’s best french fry place, spend an afternoon at the art gallery, organize a co-ed game of friendly football, surprise your friends in Toronto with a secret road trip …. ……(this is the part where I ensure that Kaylee and Jess read my posts ;)). Whatever it is you chose to do, make sure it’s something that you wouldn’t do on the regular. As Kate would say, “You need some spice in your life.”

  1. Plant something

I will do this. Just watch.

When I was younger almost all of our summer vegetables came from my own garden. I have albums full of pictures of my three year old self hiding with my teddy among cucumber plants that were four times my size. And I’ll never forget the time I was chopping fresh cayenne peppers and rubbed my eyes in the process. Up there with dumbest moves I’ve made … and that’s saying something. Now unfortunately, my current home does not have a backyard and since most of our readers are probably in a similar situation, a full garden does not seem very plausible. Luckily, there is a little thing called “container gardening” which allows you to grow almost any vegetable inside of a pot. Tomatoes and peppers don’t take up much space and grow well inside a container. So, fresh veggie anyone? I know Jess the vegan will be proud of my backyard project anyway.

  1. Sangria contest

Did I mention I like being competitive? Anyone remember those friends I used to have before the Bachelor pool? Ya, me neither. So why not combine two of my favourite things … contests and Sangria. There a million ways to make Sangria with no two recipes alike. And it goes FAST. Pretty sure three of us were able to polish off a pitcher of sangria in no time last night. And if you’re going for all day sipping, you’re going to need a good amount. So why not get all your best gals to bring some supplies and compete for the title of Sangria queen. If you’re as competitive as my group of fun loving nuts, it’s sure to add a little somethin’ to your patio time. You may lose a friend or two but it’ll be worth it.

  1. Plan a trip

Miss this girl.

It’s almost a guarantee that everyone takes some sort of vacation time off in the summer. My office actually shuts down for an entire week to give everyone some vacay. Amazing? Yes. But with only those few select days and endless possibilities, it may be time to plan out where and when you want to be going. The last time I took a proper vacation was to visit one of my closest friends on the other side of the country for the Calgary Stampede. It was definitely a summer highlight and my tickets were booked by mid-April. Having something to look forward to always makes the trials and tribulations of day to day life a little more bearable.

The Bachelor – AFTER THE FINAL ROSE: aka JUDGEMENT DAY

Here it comes nuts  … grab a tissue, this is OFFICIALLY my last Bachelor Recap for a few months. Deep breaths, it’s going to be alright. We’ll get through it together.

After hearts broke, tears poured and our male correspondent @Bakkesy finally calmed his rage and rejoined us in the living room, it was time for AFTER THE FINAL ROSE. I think since the skinny dipping episode when it was evident that Ben was going to pick his exhibitionist friend, most people were wishing we could skip ahead to this episode to see how the broken soul is now fairing after making the worst choice of his life. In fact, doesn’t it seem logical that the Bachy Gods could have eliminated the half hour of watching Lindzi and the she-devil do their makeup in the mirror and adorn their capes to include a longer ATFR? I know I for one was relieved to see Chris B Harrison’s face and was impressed with the way he just drilled Flajnik with questions. Hey! If I had received as much flak as he did for not tackling Ben during the proposal I’d be feisty too.

"I'm about to make you hate your liiiiiiife."

@inanutshellca “Chris. It’s about time babe. Missed you.” – @codeshanaynay #bachelor

If there is one thing to be certain of it’s that Ben has NEVER. LOOKED. WORSE. It definitely looked like he spent the last two months reliving his stupidity in a serious state of shambles. Sleepless nights, rough mornings, mass alcohol consumption, careless flings and not a single visit to the barber…. YUP.

Yikes.

@inanutshellca BEN looks BAD. #rough #bachelor

As he recounted that re-watching the footage he noticed things like Courtney’s annoying skip back to the line after getting the rose … it was evident that, like the rest of the world, he seriously hates this broad.

Explaining that they had temporarily broken up when he realized what a witchy woman she was, viewers everywhere let out a communal “Thank God.” And suddenly Courtney’s TWTA breakdown seemed to make a little more sense.

As Courtney made her way to the hot seat we were half expecting no one to clap. But, if Chris had been tough on Ben he no less than ruthless with Courtney, noting the BOOs in the audience. (That’s why he’s our BOY! Fist pump.) God, I think I would have traded most of my worldly possessions to be in the audience for that.

@inanutshellca “Imagine no one clapped?” – @katelalu “There’s a few boo’s in there” – @chrisbharrison #ruthless

Oppositely from her ex-victim, I must say, Courtney looked FANTASTIC. I mean sure she probably had a whole team working on her for hours but … oh wait, sorry. I should probably catch you guys up here. Not sure if you knew this, but Courtney’s a model. Might have been quickly mentioned once or twice on the program. Now you’re up to speed.

"At least I look amazing. That trumps true love. Right?"

Courtney made pitiful and practiced excuses that surprised no one. And was receiving the world’s best death glares from the audience. Again, wishing badly I was there.

@inanutshellca “It’s a tough crowd” … Cut to people rolling their eyes. #hilarious #wearedying #bachelor

Despite the fact, that both parties seemed to say they were willing to work on things and thought the worst was over. It was clear to any man, woman and pet watching that this relationship will about as long as Kim Kardashian’s most recent conquest.

Ya, they look happy.

Possibly the most awkward part of the entire episode. The fact that Chris Harrison (!?!??!) had Courtney’s engagement ring and asked if she wanted it back. If you could put a cherry on the proverbial reality tv cake, then he just dumped an entire orchard on there. We couldn’t deal.

@Bakkesy @BenFlajnik are you seriously gunna propose three times in two seasons! #BadBachelorRatio

Ya, because this is normal.

But alas, Courtney managed to slide the rock back on her bony finger and they “happy” (read: miserable) couple was able to force out a smile. Wedding bliss if I’ve ever seen it.

@inanutshellca This is a RIDICULOUS #Afterthefinalrose … like absurd. #bachelor

@inanutshellca @chrisbharrison is like that gf you tell everything to ..but you don’t mean to. Because he’s telling the whole world.” – @megb723 #bachelor

My biggest question was what about LINDZI? Once again, this girl gets completely shunned from the live recap shows? Was she not contractually obliged to show her discarded face? All I really wanted to know was if she had to fast forward over the part of herself asking Ben that if it didn’t work out to “give her a call”. Did her parents pick her broken heart up from the airport in a chariot? Had she finally de-bronzed and de-eyelinered a tad? THESE were the burning questions I had … and I was left with nothing. Perhaps Dumpsville has strict emigration laws. For whatever reason, Lindzi missed her chance to tell the world that Ben, his pre-kiss lip lick, unruly strands and less than admirable ocean behaviour was old news.

Better off? I think so.

And finally, the weirdest / worst ATFR ended with …. Ashley Hebert and JP!??!?!?! Talk about just twiiiiiiisting the knife. “Oh hey Ben! Remember that time you proposed to the spawn of satan? Well let’s grill you about your awful life choices and then bring out the girl who REFUSED your FIRST PROPOSAL on NATIONAL TELEVISION and sent you packing in a DINGHY while she frolicked with the guy she chose over you. Who’s also here. Oh and, they’re super happy and adorable together. And are getting married soon. And she might be carrying his child.”

"What's that? Ben's crying backstage? Ahahahahahahaha." - an actually happy couple.

Reports of Ben Flajnik going bankrupt from immediately consuming every bottle of wine at his vineyard post-ATFR haven’t surfaced yet …..  but I’m sure they will.

And there you have it Bachy Fans …. Probably the saddest ending to the most fun episode of the Bachelor yet. I can only hope that some serious psychos make a showing for Emily Maynard. Brad Womack coming in around the fifth episode à la Shawntel Newton. Eeeeeeee … is it May yet?

Thank you for watching / reading with me! Keep your eyes locked on in a nutshell for more entertainment while we all wait with bated breath. Until then, friends!

The Bachelor – FINALE: And they lived … miserably ever after

Guys, this is a seriously sad post. Not just because the #BachyParty’s are over, that there is no less of an excuse to drink on a Monday night, that my weekly dose of drama might have to come from the lives of people I actually know or (most importantly) that in a nutshell will not be posting any Bachelor RECAPS until Emily Maynard takes the stage in MAY (holy far away). No, I’ve been in a state of sheer sorrow all day due to the fact that last night’s finale SUCKED.

After a season that brought us JENNA. Blakely’s scrapbook, Jamie’s lap dance, Casey S’s meltdown, Kacie B’s meltdown, spine crippling analogies, more than one awkward kiss … and did I mention JENNA!?!??! … Ben, the Bach Gods and Chris Harrison (ok, ok not Chris Harrision, who am I kidding) really let us down.

Not only was last night predictable … but it was also kind of boring.

#hairproblems

Ben’s sister proved herself to be a pretty legit human, despite the fact she shares eerily similar hair with her brother which really freaked us out. I guess hairdressers are hard to come by in Sonoma.

Lindzi had a couple awkward moments with Ben’s family but managed to pull off a decent showing, even keeping her class when questioned by the sister about Courtney. What would my response have been? She’s a #*!&#$^ *@!$& !!!!!!!!!!!! (PG website)

Ben's family looks extremely happy for him....

I would have really LOVED to see Ben’s fam unleash the fury on Courtney. Maybe a few slammed doors, someone storming out of a room, tears, a slap or two, eye gouging… I mean THOSE are the kind of things reality TV is made of. But, alas, blindness runs in the Flajnik family with BOTH his sister AND mom coming around and supporting the bit… i mean witch.

I would just love to hear what they both have to say about the situation now … that is, if they could speak through the sobs, moans and tears.

Uhhhh Ben? Why are you sleeping?

After this upsetting seal of approval it was a no brainer that Courtney was going to bring home the ultimate prize (Ben Flajnik!? :S) … so it made it extra painful to sit through Ben’s last, pitiful date with Lindzi. He seemed like he would be more excited to be visiting the dentist (Ashley Hebert? Ok, maybe he really would). And poor Lindzi gushed about how much she loves him. I internally cringed more than when I accidentally pantsed myself in my grade 8 co-ed gym class … Champion snap pants, they’ll get ya.

Us Weekly ‏ @usweekly
The next time we tell a guy we love him, we hope he replies “that’s great.” #bachelo

inanutshell.ca ‏ @inanutshellca
“It’s the first time I’ve been so sure of something” – Lindzi … “Mmmhmmm” – Ben #thebachelor

Courtney’s final date was a little less depressing… maybe only because it provided many opportunities for laughter. Their backwards tandem skiing was awkward at best and when they sledded down the hill we were SURE they were not supposed to be going that fast. Random avalanche care of Chris B Harrison? Ahhh, a globe can dream.

Abominable snowman ... where are you when we need you?

Courtney did manage to one up Blakely with her own special scrapbook. Us weekly definitely said it best here:

Blakely's scrapbook still trumps.

Us Weekly ‏ @usweekly
Somewhere Blakeley is forlornly tossing pages of her “Ben Scrapbook” into a fire while listening to “Pour Some Sugar on Me.” #bachelor

Ben’s had some PRETTY brutal outfits to accompany his VERY brutal hair over the season, but the hanging suspenders had to take the cake. WHAT in God’s name were you thinking here Ben? I am also at this point questioning the legitimacy of Courtney’s career … if you were in fact a model, would you not know a thing or two about fashion, thus, not wanting your beau to look like a complete SHMO. Perhaps it was a subconscious decision by Ben because he didn’t REALLY want Courtney to like him. Maybe? Maybe? Really pulling for your sanity here Ben….

Please tell me this is a joke.

Striking resemblance.

But, Courtney responded with her own fashion faux pas. I can tell you right now … if I was 50 per cent sure that someone was proposing to me on any given evening, I would not wear elbow length GLOVES. Because it’s really romantic to have to remove your Cruella-DeVille-like accessory in order for someone to put a ring on your finger.

Lindzi lost the outfit battle though with a green VELVET cape. I have no words.

inanutshell.ca ‏ @inanutshellca
The capes. “Get worse.” – @katelalu #bachelor

Us Weekly ‏ @usweekly
The dress code for this portion of the #bachelor was “Harry Potter chic”

At least Chris B Harrison looks outstanding.

But as poor Lindz got out of the helicopter first, we knew she was doomed. After Ben’s gallant exit from his own season of the Bachelorette when Ashley refused his proposal and he told her not to “sugar coat it” he certainly became TV’s biggest hypocrite by letting Lindzi down in the most knife-turning way possible.

Somewhere Brad Womack heel clicked for being surpassed as world’s worst Bachelor. (I’m not on your side anymore Big Ben).

Kudos to Lindzi though, for holding it together… untillllllllll she said “If it doesn’t work out, call me?” Sorry Lindzi, Dumpsville is having a “welcome home” celebration for you … you are the guest of honour … and sole inhabitant.

"I don't want to go back to Dumpsville. I don't want to go back to Dumpsville."

Ginny Alexander ‏ @missginnyhelen
Is Lindzi doing the impossible? A whole season with no tears? #bachelor #hero #crushedit

inanutshell.ca ‏ @inanutshellca
Very classy exit Lindzi. “I thought Kacie B was doing well … then came the limo drive” – @Bakkesy #bachelo

Then Cruella Courtney sailed down from her helicopter for truly the most shocking part of the season to date ….. BEN ….. had hit his climax in terrible hair. I was stunned. The rest of the Bachy Party had to revive me. I’m still seeing stars as we speak.

inanutshell.ca ‏ @inanutshellca
“If Courtney says ‘winning’ after … I’m going to lose it” – @Bakkesy #bachelor

inanutshell.ca ‏ @inanutshellca
“I still think Emily has a chance. Somehow. She’s got to.” – @Bakkesy #bachelor

Now, I must say. I am a naysayer when it comes to the Bachelor being scripted. Sure, I can admit that producers make clever edits, ask suggestive questions, “plant” alcohol for the women to get wasted on and lose all sanity but I was a believer in TRUE love, REAL connections and CANDID moments … until … Ben’s terrible proposal.

Not like Courtney really deserved anything better … but seriously Ben!? Do you really want to trick the girl you love into thinking you didn’t pick her!? What kind of SICK JOKE was he trying to pull here.

Of course, it was candy to our fiending eyes. Our male correspondent @Bakkesy left the room.

Literal "can't watch" emoticon

inanutshell.ca ‏ @inanutshellca
BEN WITH THE CURVEBALL. The room just erupted. #unfair #scripted #bachelor

Julia Kent ‏ @kentjulia
Weirdest proposal ever. #thebachelor
Retweeted by inanutshell.ca

And there you have it. As Courtney removed her gloved hand to accept, what I must say was a very gorgeous ring, hearts broke around the globe. Not for Ben, not for Courtney but for humanity. Mothers everywhere cradled their daughters in their arms reassuring them that REAL men go for good girls… right? Wrong Momma. Want to secure a GEM of an engagement ring from a B-List celeb… it’s simple. Ditch your dress and skinny dip on the third date and you’ll live happily ever after … for about 30 minutes anyway.

In a nutshell.

After the final rose commentary ….. to come …… tomorrow.

What a beauty #BachyCrew though... Gonna miss you guys.

The Bachelor Recap: Episode 10 – TWTA .. The bad kind of nuts.

Quote

“I’m melting, I’m meltiiiiiing.”

Image

So let’s say, hypothetically speaking of course, you went on a reality show and at a moment of sheer vulnerability and weakness you showed your most crazy side to the rest of the world. Wow. Embarrassing right? Like “how do I get up every morning and face the day knowing everyone thinks I’m completely cray?” RIGHT? … But what if you were then given a chance to redeem yourself. A few months down the road, you were given another opportunity to show millions of viewers worldwide your true self. That you don’t hide behind luggage on the reg, drop f bombs like it’s going out of style, say I love you after the first date or fly half way around the world for closure with someone you barely knew. You are just a normal human being who was caught at a bad moment. RIGHT?

Wrong.

If the girls of the Bachelor had one chance to show their true colours, reflect on their crazy behaviour and laugh at their silly mistakes … well they blew it.

Looks of sheer anger and disgust.

The cast of clucking hens sounded similar to what it would be like if someone said “Who wants a COOKIE?” in the middle of a kindergarten class. Complete and utter anarchy.

I ALMOST wish I had missed the first five minutes and didn’t know Courtney was going to appear to be savagely attacked at the end of the show. It made me almost blackout in anticipation.

Doesn't age.

But as the show’s real stallion, Chris B. Harrison, gave a recap of the season showing clips of Ben and Courtney’s courtship and re-introduced us to the girls who’d been kicked to the curb, things escalated quickly.

I feel as though at that moment, had Chris H said “Here’s a bat and here’s Courtney? Would anyone like to take a swing?” There would have been a Spain-like stampede situation going on.

Easily the most annoying person of the night (and let’s be serious, that’s SAYING something) was Samantha.

QUICK! Someone grab a sock.

Did her voice get shriller and more high pitched then when she was previously on the show? Well folks, I now believe in the impossible becoming possible. A highlight for me was definitely when cute, sweet, I-brought-my-GRANDMOTHER-to-the-bachelor Brittany lost it on her and said she was the ” house Chihuahua”. I fist pumped. Love when good girls go bad, just like Coba Starship. Even CBH (Chris B Harrison acronym), the 14 year vet at keeping his cool under the crazy couldn’t stifle his chuckle.

No hard feelings .... right?

Shawntel Newton, Brad’s season cast-off made infamous by crashing one of the rose ceremonies in an attempt to fire up a supposed “connection” between herself and Mr. Flajnik, was back to defend herself. She seemed appropriately rattled at the fact that the rest of the girls dissed everything from her previous stint on the bachelor to the size of her thighs. And while the name-callers cringed with regret watching themselves be less ladies more playground bullies in the footage, most stood their ground that Shawntel should notttt have tried to steal their man. The bach-nut clan is in agreeance that the final two SHOULD have been Shawntel and Emily …. but we are sane, rational people and the girls on the show …. well ….. some have nice hair, at least.

If anyone “WON” the Women Tell All episode, aside from the viewers and producers of course, it was definitely Emily. Despite a dress that made her boobs like oddly spaced out, she proved to the world (not that she really needed to) that she is a) way smarter than any of the girls on the show b) more well spoken than most politicians and c) definitely out of Ben’s league. She seemed over it and not still pining over the mop-haired wino … my guess is that if Emily Maynard hadn’t been lined up to be Bachelorette, than Emily # 2 would have had a good shot.

Why. Didn't. You. Win? ... If you're still single @Bakkesy is interested.

Kacie B. also seemed more sane than usual; I wonder if she was sedated. One thing is for sure, she’s made strides since Switzerland since she didn’t collapse on the floor at any point. She did, however, clasp Nicki’s hands like they were newly weds for the rest of the show. Turning to lesbianism does not seem like a bad idea for any of the Bach-women who have been put through the ringer. I’m happy for their new lifestyle … just hope Nicki doesn’t run when she hears about Kacie B. bombing her family home in revenge.

They're already making identical facial expressions ... precious.

Nicki had the best line of the night when she said: “Courtney’s face is beautiful, her heart is ugly.” Le-git. But is Courtney’s face really that pretty?

That is ONE shiny forehead.

Ok, ok. I know she’s a millionaire model … but she always looks a little shiny and her facial expressions (not to mention the ha HA I hear nightly in my nightmares) aren’t so cute. Maybe she’s just in a constant sweaty state due to the fact that someone could be plotting to stab her in the back at any moment. I know I would be.

When they finally played the long awaited recap of the terror she inflicted on the household you could see the girls eyes go red. MY heart was beating fast. Is that weird? Signs of addiction. Ok fine, I’ll admit… I’m completely obsessed. I hear acceptance is the first step. Going to go have to go through denial in two weeks when the season is over. Anyone interested in forming a support group, please contact me.

"I've really made some poor decisions as of late ...."

Love how Casey S. just trailed off when asked about her friendship with the ice Queen “Ya I had a ……..” Hatred by proxy. Go back to your boyfriend that doesn’t love you. Wow. I’m starting to sound like a contestant? #Bachoverload. Retraction.

At this point in the evening the ONLY thing I was wondering was why we hadn’t seen more JENNA. Um hellllooooooo.

Just doesn't get old...

You have the world’s most hilarious human in your midst. Give her some face time! If I produced The Bachelor The Women Tell All would be renamed Jenna Explains her Meltdown Pt 1 of 46. Just me though …

Second most annoying person of the night award goes to ….. Monica. You were insignificant on the show. Try and stay that way. (*So insignificant I couldn’t find a google image of her. #truth)

FINALLY it was announced that Courtney is in the building and will be in the hot seat to undergo the verbal version of an old fashioned stoning. The girls literally lol’d. I clasped my hands in glee and somewhere Ben Flajnik bbm’d someone a “hand covering face” emoticon.

It was a slow and vicious beating as the girls took turns tearing a strip of poor Whoretney. She looked like she was trying REALLY hard to cry. And when she managed to squeeze out a tear I was utterly shock. Cyborg breakthrough. Emily called her out though (what a surprise) by saying: “We were human beings & we tried to make a connection to get through it” #fistpump … Oddly enough Chris seemed more interested in what JENNIFER had to say? Um, aside from the early l-bombs, I would nottttt consider her a relevant member of the show. Chris, keep your crush in check!

"These acting classes have really paid off."

JENNA however got to speak. She used complete sentences to boot. It was a proud moment. I got choked up.

I think Courtney may have also spilled the beans a bit about the ending. She muttered something about being sorry to Ben and how she “loved him” … Past tense. Interesting.

new hobby.

If I was Lindzi I’d feel seriously left out here. Only leading lady that didn’t make it onto the episode … she was barely even talked about. She’s probably just jumping off a cliff somewhere. Just goes to show … if you’re not nuts, you’re not interesting. (In both the good and bad sense of the word ;))

Finally, the black widow scuttled off into a limo where she probably “ha HA’d” all the way home.

Then Ben “God-certainly-didn’t-know-I-was-going-to-be-a-celeb-when-he-designed-my-hair” Flajnik appeared and instantly said “Welcome to my nightmare.” I almost spit out my blackberry cobbler. At least it wasn’t an analogy.

"So what IIIIIII ... skinny dipped with another girl, broke all of your hearts and have really, really bad hair. I'm still a nice guy. Right!?"

Unfortunately, this was a rather dull moment. No women REALLY unleashed the fury. No one even brought up the skinny dipping!?!?!?! And instead of falling to pieces like the broken man he is now that he’s had two failed engagements (I’m hypothesizing here). He kept it together, with his aloof look planted firmly in place.

The only highlight of Ben’s appearance was when JAMIE decided to tell Ben that “she still thinks he’s a great guy” and … “if it doesn’t work out” to give her a call. JAMIE. Did you not watch the episode where you drunkenly and more than awkwardly stradled Ben while he laughed in your face and cringed internally for the world to see? No? Are your friends THAT good that they somehow shielded you from watching this footage? Holy hannah girl, give. it. up.

"Hiiiiiiiiii Ben. Round 2!?!??!?"

@inanutshellca   JAMIE. “It’s never been more awkward … except for the last time you made it that awkward.” – @megb723 #thebachelor

And that’s a wrap guys! ….. OH WAIT …. The show closes with a JENNA montage. I could barely breathe. WHERE was more of this during the show. Chris Harrison: “You had a bit of a meltdown.” … “Ya, I had a meltdown” * Cue crazed twitch in her eye. Monica even handed the nutcase a tampon. It was sheer television genius and I for one, had a smile on my face for the remainder of the evening.

"I'll sttiiiiiill fiiiiiiiind you."

So ladies and gentleman (come on guys, the ratio at our #BachyParty was 2:1) … mentally prepare yourselves for the fact that last week is the LAST EPISODE. It’s sad really. Love has blossomed, hatred has brewed, on a personal note I gained two new roommates and Monday night had become my favourite two hours of the week. But alas, all good things come to an end. Make sure to pack a box of Kleenex for the finale, it’s sure to be a tear jerker…