The Bachelor Recap: EPISODE TWO

It would have been pretty hard to beat such a stellar first episode. But, between Blakely’s gingerbread costume, Jaclyn’s snide remarks and the continuation of Jenna’s meltdown … the nuts (and friends) were quite satisfied with episode two of 2012.

Keep in mind, what was once a casual and carefree Monday night with girlfriends has now turned into an all out batale-royale with the emergence of our Bachelor Pool. So as the girls headed to Sonoma to get a taste of Ben’s real life, the claws came out when Kacie B. was selected for the first one on one date. Half the group cheered on their pick, while I sulked miserably. Really? This was the girl who made a heart in the sky in episode one! How could anyone have put their faith behind her? 

But, I digress, she did pull off a pretty stellar first date. Touring Ben’s hometown she seemed fun and genuinely interested in the intricacies of Sonoma. When she purchased a baton at a shop along the strip, to show off her previous twirling talent, we thought she was done for – but surprisingly, she even pulled that off, being more cute, less cheerleader stuck in her glory years.

The most poignant moment of the night was definitely when Kacie and Ben snuggled up to watch home videos of themselves in an abandoned theatre. As has been referenced many times on the show, Ben’s father passed away not too long ago, so both bachelor, contestant and room full of attentive girls had to blink away tears.

Eyes are looking a littly misty Ben...

This spawned the most heated #BachPool debate of the night, since our set of rules takes points away for girls crying in “any way shape or form” … do happy tears count? Our ruling was that misty eyes, do not, but if a tear falls – happy or not – a penalty of minus five will be incurred. (suckaaas!).

Kacie’s date was spliced with scenes from back at the house that had us all hating Blakely already. The 34 year old cougar, stage 10 clinger, VIP Cocktail waitress, chose aggressive tactics in episode two that did not go over well with our little clan. Stay tuned for more on her antics …

“A) That’s not a name. B) You’re cray.” – Meghan on Blakely.

Up next was the first group date, which since it’s so early in the show, seemed to include almost every contestant. The concept was cute, as Ben tried to show off his sensitive side (does he have another side!?), and had local kids write a play for the girls to perform. Auditions had some girls knock it out of the park, while we literally wanted to knock Blakely out, period. Her “candy-striper” onesie was not kid appropriate and when her audition called for her to act like an ape we all cringed and covered our faces. “Run for the hills, kids!” … “I think that little boy wants some milk.” – Jess.

Put those things away.

The highlight of the play, which actually ended up being really cute and scored some of us some points with pecks on the cheek and lips (finally!), was when Jenna was cast as a wizard. Her get up had us in stitches. “Jenna’s a drunk wizard that’s crying.” – Kate

best moment of the night.

After the play, the girls were up in arms about Blakely’s forward behaviour. Samantha even pulled a stall cry, and THANK GOD none of us had Jennifer as a pool pick who said to the camera she could see herself falling in love with him – ALREADY. on. date. two…. Wow.

Jaclyn actually started to rise up a few notches in our books providing constant comedic relief and had us all thinking that if Meghan went on the show she would be saying the exact same things. “Blakely is super fakely.”

But the evening ended with a literal GASP as the big chested and hated gal secured the rose on the group date. “I guess he likes older women … and teeth.” – Jess on Blakely

Perhaps even more frustrating than Blakely’s emergence as frontrunner, was how NORMAL and CHARMING Courtney was on her one on one date (again, a failed pick on my part … dammit). We don’t blame Ben for being completely captivated with the model from L.A since she seemed like a loveable person who just hasn’t come across “the one” yet.

Although Kate and Ben are on a first name basis on Twitter, Shannon had perhaps the funniest tweet of the night: I would go on #thebachelor solely for joint custody of @BenFlajnik ‘s dog.

The pup was on his date with Courtney and made the girls swoon even more: Winemaker. Dog lover. Sensitive Sally. Dreamboat.

Despite, Courtney’s charming alter-ego her true colours were revealed in her one on one with the camera after securing the rose where she couldn’t help but remind us of THIS (uncanny resemblance):

Vanessa ... I mean Courtney.

At the cocktail party, our girl Jenna managed to have us in hysterics AGAIN when the poor soul couldn’t hold it together. I’m seriously questioning whether she’s ever spoken to a man in her life the way she stutters and stammers and more generally, doesn’t make a lick of sense while talking to Ben. Obviously her encounter with him left her in the fetal position in bed before Ben had to come and get her so she wouldn’t miss yet ANOTHER rose ceremony. Get it together.

Blakely also had a cry scene when she realized everyone HATES her … and Lindzi proved why she was chosen by us all when she had an adorably sweet convo with Ben before the rose ceremony. “He gives me butterflies.”

We were all on the edge of our seats to grab final points as the roses were passed out and much to our dismay (for comedic purposes only) Jenna was finally sent packing. For fun, we kept a tally of Jenna’s points (as if anyone would have been dumb enough to pick her), she was at negative 20 before the rose ceremony commenced.

Buh bye.

Despite the fact, that I am the self-proclaimed Bachelor aficionado of the group. Below are the standings after week one of our Bachelor Pool:

  1. Rhiannon – 73 points
  2. Kate – 72 points
  3. Shannon– 58 points
  4. Meghan – 51 points
  5. Jess – 44 points
  6. Me ……………. 29 points (wow)

I’m maintaing that I’m the sleeper pick and that a TSN turning point of epic proportions will happen.

not pleased.

But for now, Rhiannon and Kate who had BOTH Courtney and Kacie B. ran away with last night’s tally.

If you’re following along with our Bachelor Pool and have any questions feel free to leave a comment or email me at inanutshellca@gmail.com … we had many heated moments discussing contentious kisses, but all in all our love for the Bachelor and for sheer, raw competitiveness was affirmed ten times over.

Until next week, nuts!

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2 thoughts on “The Bachelor Recap: EPISODE TWO

  1. Pingback: Keeping Up with Resolutions | inanutshellca

  2. Pingback: Keeping Up with Resolutions | inanutshellca

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