Pet Peeve of the Week

Subject: Uncomfortable Over-Sharing

The over-share. We’ve all been a victim of its awkwardness. Whether it’s in the office, while trapped on public transit or in an elevator, we’ve all been put in situations where the person we are speaking to loses their filter (and sense of boundaries) and proceeds to tell you information that makes you so uncomfortable you would rather suffer a horrible accident than be forced to speak to them a second longer. I won’t lie; I’ve been sitting on this Pet Peeve for a while. I have been biding my time, slowly suffering through blog-worthy exchanges in order to make you laugh and cringe at my unfortunate experiences.

The Awkward Bathroom Run-In

Public washrooms are awkward to begin with. There’s really no getting around that fact. It’s a giant room filled with people trying to take care of business, without alluding to the fact that they’re taking care of said business. Normal people try to make it their mission to get in and out with little to no chit-chat. Unfortunately, not everyone feels the same way. When there is a foul smell in the washroom, generally you try to do anything and everything in your power to ignore it, wash your hands and run. You don’t linger and you definitely don’t want to know where it’s coming from…

Me: *Silent hand-washing*
Stinky: *Knowing smile* “Oops, shouldn’t have had so much chilli for lunch”
Me: “Oh, um..” *Forced smile, internal CRINGE*
Stinky: “I just can’t help myself! My husband puts bacon in it!” *BIG smile/chuckle*
Me: “Uh, okay, have a nice day” *Walk briskly back to my desk and vomit*

This is what I'm going to do to you.

Uncomfortable Medical Updates

When you have a medical appointment, there could be a million and one causes behind it. We all have to see the dentist, the optometrist, the general physician – and those are just normal check-ups. Tack on getting sick, taking a tumble, seeing specialists, etc. and you have yourself a plethora of appointments each year. When someone asks me, “Oh, where were you this morning,” if I was missing from work, I simply respond, “Oh, I had an appointment.” Not everyone does the same…

Me: “Nice to see you today.”
Disgustasaurus: “Oh, I wasn’t here this morning because I had an appointment with my pediatrist!”
Me: I didn’t ask but… ”Oh, ok. Well have a nice afternoon.”
Disgustasaurus: “Better than this morning when they drained a pustule from my foot that was the size of a toonie!”
Me: “Wow.” *Immediate vomit*

Thanks!

The Mother of All Over-Shares

So, I have a colleague who doesn’t understand boundaries whatsoever. Sir Creeps A Lot grosses out everyone on a daily basis. One example of his awkwardness: he frequently enters the cubicles of female employees and adjusts his belt and pants so often that you can barely answer the (fake) question he’s come up with. But, this isn’t the worst thing he’s put me through. One afternoon he and I were left alone in the office, and he received a call to pick up his daughter from school. Instead of saying, “My daughter isn’t feeling well, I have to go pick her up from school” this human forced me to endure the most cringe-worthy 5 minutes EVER.

Sir Creeps A Lot: “So, uh, sorry to leave you completely alone, but I have to leave to pick up my daughter at school. She’s sick…”
Me: “Oh, ok no problem. I hope she feels better. Bye.”
Sir Creeps A Lot: “Oh, ya, well I guess she just got her first period.”
Me: WHY did you tell me this… “Oh, ok. See you later.”
Sir Creeps A Lot: “I mean, she’s 13, so I guess that it was bound to happen right?”
Me: PLEASE STOP TALKING. “Mmm hmmm…”
Sir Creeps A Lot: “I really wish her mother was available to pick her up, but I guess I’ll just stop to buy some products with her on the way home.”
Me: O.M.G. “Ok?”
Sir Creeps A Lot: “I guess you would know a bit more about this than me since you’ve gone through it, eh?” *slight chuckle*
Me: ARE YOU ACTUALLY ASKING ME ABOUT THIS? “Uhhhhhhh.”
Sir Creeps A Lot: “I mean, well, you’re a woman”
Me: I’M BEGGING YOU TO STOP. “Yep”
Sir Creeps A Lot: “So, you know it’s an awkward thing to go through, eh?”
Me: THIS IS AN AWKWARD THING TO GO THROUGH. *silence*
Sir Creeps A Lot: “Ok, well, I guess I better not keep her waiting. See you tomorrow.”
Me: KILL ME NOW.

This is how I look now. Thanks, Sir Creeps A Lot.

I really can’t follow that up with much of anything. All I hope is that by sharing these unfortunate experiences you got a good laugh, and all I ask is that you try to limit the over-shares and never ask me about my period…in a nutshell.

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This entry was posted in Pet Peeves and tagged , , , , by Meghan Brown. Bookmark the permalink.

About Meghan Brown

Meghan is inanutshell’s contributor who has a lot of different interests and a strong (and humorous) opinion. As a Martha Stewart wanna-be, you can expect lots of delicious recipes, DIY projects and organization tips from her. A lover of pop culture and anything buzzworthy, you can count on her to write about things that she's currently obsessing over and provide colour commentary on a variety of topics. Bad Habit: Reformed (still working on it) Nail Biter/ Favourite Food: Mashed Potatoes / Favourite Restaurant: El Camino / Wine of Choice: Riesling / Favorite Song: Don’t Stop Believing / Favourite Music Genre: Everything, but rap & hip hop have my heart / Favorite Movie: It’s A Wonderful Life / Favorite TV Series: Grey’s Anatomy or Friends/ Favourite Sport: Hockey / Favourite Team: Toronto Maple Leafs and Ottawa Senators / Blackberry or iPhone: iPhone / Favorite Book: Lolita /

2 thoughts on “Pet Peeve of the Week

  1. Pingback: In a Nutshell: The Best of 2011 | inanutshellca

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